Okay guys, listen up—I’m about to tell you a SUPER embarrassing fact/story/you better not repeat this anecdote about yours truly.
I guess it all started circa 2013 with the release Safe Haven. You know the drill: you grab your girls, a big bucket of buttery popcorn and prepare to shed a tear while intensely staring at Josh Duhamel. What could go wrong?
Well, a lot.
You see, (spoiler alert) while the lake house is burning up and Julianne’s life hangs in the balance, the tears start rolling.
Now, when I say rolling, I mean rolling. We’re not talking about a dainty little tear or two that can be wiped away.
No, no.
Here I am, surrounded by all my daintily crying friends, drowning myself in a literal ocean of my own tears. I’m full on sobbing—in public. I mean, like, the entire movie theater was staring at me—I even heard a few fake “leave” coughs (please, if you’re not Karen Smith, don’t fake sick). It was a rough day.
Then, to my chagrin, history repeated itself with If I Stay. And repeated again with Star Trek. And again with The Gladiator—I told you, it’s embarrassing. Moral of the story—my friends now refuse to accompany me to the movie theater for fear that I will make a “scene.”
Puh-lease!
Regardless, I have officially accepted my defeat in the movie theater battle and have finally reached acceptance in my 12-step healing process.
I have learned to contain my movie-induced tears (which occur in every movie ever) in the comfort of my house. But, as a pariah to the theater, I have had to compensate with Netflix. Not so bad—I guess. But, after you get through the big titles with the big actors and whatnot like No Strings Attached, Silver Linings Playbook and 13 Going On 30, finding a stellar chick flick can become a tad tricky.
Then, once you sift through those “name brand” rom-coms, you inevitably turn to the overly sappy, terribly produced, ABC Family Christmas Edition type chick flicks. If you haven’t reached this pivotal moment in your movie-watching career, take it from someone who has—that someone being me. There are some amazingly, terrible ones that you can’t take your eyes off of, and then there are some plain, old terrible ones that you simply can’t bear to watch.
I have generously saved you the torture of watching god-awful, Netflix chick flicks and summarized my top 10, Netflix exclusive, underrated, awfully amazing romantic comedies.
1. Chalet Girl—Rich guy (the one and only Chuck Bass) falls for poor girl. Poor girl falls for rich guy. They all live happily ever after—NOT. There’s a snobby, status-obsessed mom, a girlfriend, and a whole ton of snow to deal with…you get the point.
2. Naomi & Ely’s No Kiss List—Gay guy. Straight girl. BFFs. Simple, right? Wrong! The two have a list of guys that are totally O-F-F limits. But then, someone breaks it. You can guess what happens from there. Wait, you can’t? Guess you’ll just have to watch.
3. For A Good Time, Call—Think 50 Shades of Grey meets New Girl. Two enemies become roommates and start a phone sex line—duh! Logic.
4. Revenge Of The Bridesmaids—Raven Simone stars in this lesser version of Bride Wars. Raven definitely does not have her psychic powers circa her Disney days, because if she did, she would have known her actions in this movie would make the bride-to-be’s wedding day a TOTAL disaster.
5. Beauty And The Briefcase—My all time favorite rom com EVER is How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days, so it should be no surprise that I love this movie equally as much—it’s a copycat movie after all. Hillary Duff stars as a magazine writer trying to get the inside scoop at a business firm and shocker, falls in love with her subject.
6. Teen Spirit—So this is your “desperate times calls for desperate measures” rom com. This is a great one but fair warning, it’s next level cheesy. Basically, miss popular dies. Comes back as a ghost. Turns loser into prom queen. End of story.
7. Syrup—Don’t be scared away but the ultra odd cover—this is a goodie. Ok, so it’s more like business/action romantic comedy, but still worth the watch. Idealistic entrepreneur pairs up with a hard and manipulative female business executive to bring his energy drink to the big leagues. Along their journey, he breaks down her wall, yada yada yada.
8. The Pill—Girl meets boy. Girl sleeps with boy. Boy forgets protection. Boy follows girl to make sure she takes morning after pill. Girl hates boy for doing this. Girl falls in love with boy.
9. The Joneses—Happy wife, happy life, no? Well, not when the family is fake. Essentially, this weird business makes fake families. This one in particular ends up hating each other only to later realize they really, truly are one big, happy, unconventional family. And they all lived happily ever after…
10. Love Wedding Marriage—She’s an uptight marriage counselor who destroys her coveted rulebook when she learns her very own parents are becoming her patients. In this frantic rush to mend the un-mendable, she finds love in an unsuspecting source.
You now have the basics, and I am confident to let all of you spread your wings, grab some microwaveable popcorn, snuggle into the comfort of your own bed and get to watching. Do me a favor and shed a tear or two or 20…