During quarantine, many news articles, family members, and cultural commentary from social media push us to make the best of this situation. They lecture about “making lemons out of lemonade,” and using this time for positive things. There are countless articles about making change, and growing as a person, and living every possible minute with purpose. There is a constant echo about routines and getting a schedule and being consistent. But the reality is that we all lost a lot. We are all grieving in some way and many us are just plain sad. As a college student, the disappointment is very real pain. And every time someone tells me to get over it and move forward, I sink deeper down into the grief.
That’s when I realized, I didn’t want to act like nothing had changed in the world. I was in a completely different place than I thought I was going to be in the past; I was supposed to be with my friends, at college, on my own. The future is a gigantic stress ball of unknown and the past is a reminder of everything I miss. The present is the only real thing that brings some relief. So, the pressure of making the absolute best and purposeful quarantine experience seems unnatural and self-deprecating.
The answer? I think we need to stop pressuring ourselves to be purposeful at all times. Why beat yourself up for sleeping in and eating well and relaxing with good ole TV? We need to stop trying to have the best quarantine situation. The reality is we won’t feel positive, good, and happy at all times.
No matter what, during a time this uncertain, we are going to have negative moments, heartbreaking sadness, and loss. We will have many moments of laziness, while we are home and stationery. However, there is a balance between mental unhealthiness and compassion for ourselves so don’t sleep all day for a week and consider this writing.
With that being said, I think we should focus on being good enough. We should try to have some small moments of joy, some little seconds of peace often. We don’t need to feel okay all the time. We just need to feel okay enough to get by. If we can focus on the good enough, then we can have compassion for ourselves rather than self-loathing. All we need is one small moment a day, one win. Whether you exercise one day, or do something creative, or take a walk around the block. Whatever makes you feel good enough, that’s enough for right now.
Something I did to focus on the one thing a day, to help me get by, is to create a happy moments jar.
All you do is decorate a mason jar or box, and cut up some small pieces of paper. Every day, write one positive thing from your day, whether it’s someone you talked to on the phone or a delicious meal you ate. Focusing on that one win has really helped me get by and I hope it helps you get through it as well.