This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Hamilton chapter.
It is safe to say that the term “hook-up culture” is widely discussed on the Hamilton
College campus. I have heard from many of my peers that they really enjoy and
benefit from the hook-up culture. Some Hamilton students find it liberating. They
feel free to express their sexuality in numerous ways and with various partners.
They claim that in such a high stress environment, it can be nice to have fling with
someone with no commitments! No awkward Easter brunches with their partner’s
parents, no pressure to text frequently, no dealing with someone else’s problems. No
strings attached, right? But is that really what most Hamilton students want? Or is it
something we’re convincing ourselves of to justify our regular weekend-behaviors.
In this article, three Hamilton students speak their minds and share their opinions
about this hotly debated term. Here is what they had to say:
When you think of the hook up culture at Hamilton, what are the first few words that
come to mind?
Student 1: “Pervasive”
Student 2: “Prevalent”
Student 1: “Exciting”
Student 3: “Self-harming”
Student 1: “Frustrating”
Student 2: “I think that it’s a small small school, so there’s got to be a lot of Eskimo
brothers and sisters on this campus”
(Laughter)
Student 1: “Incestuous”
Student 2: “There’s a niceness to it, because you’re never hooking up with a total
stranger, everyone knows everyone here, and there’s a level of security in that”
How would you describe the hook-up culture at Hamilton to someone who doesn’t
already know about it?
Student 3: “People get drunk, go out, and suddenly feel courageous enough to hook
up with someone whether they really want to that badly or not. But sometimes it
can also start relationships.”
Student 2: “Sometimes you’ll never see them again, except you see them every day
because it’s a small school”
Student 3: “I guess in general, you can find what you want if you know how to get it”
Student 2: “There is also a level though where you don’t have to participate if you
don’t want to. I don’t really feel pressure from other people, but I do feel it from
myself”
Student 3: “But the hook up culture has replaced the dating culture. So you can’t
really choose not to do it if you are looking for a relationship”
Student 2: “There’s this distinction about whether or not you sober-hook-up or not.
If it’s just on the weekend, drunkenly, and consistently, and if it’s not sober ever, it
really isn’t dating.”
What have been some of your best or worst experiences with the hook up culture?
Student 3: “Losing my virginity”
Student 3: “This guy and I
hooked up regularly, but only drunk. Me, a silly freshman,
was thinking that because it was every single weekend and we texted outside of
that, that it meant something”
Student 2 Response: “But that shouldn’t be a silly freshman thing! Or a junior thing! If
I was sleeping and talking regularly with someone, I would consider that real”
Student 1: “I got mono! (Laughter). Classic college. Worst experience”
Student 2: “I hooked up with someone multiple times from Friendsy. It was kind of a
cool experience because I could meet someone who I never would have met
otherwise”
Student 3: “Best experience: Actually liking the person and then dating them”
Student 2: “Being a virgin, it is so difficult. Hooking up with somebody drunk, I feel
no security that they DON’T expect sex. So I either don’t go into it at all, or if I do, I
have to explain to them something personal that I don’t want to share with them.”
Student 1: “Another worst part of the hook up culture is not having the affirmation
that a guy really likes you for YOU. So you don’t know if he’s just going for you for
the hook up for the night, or if he actually had a good time just talking to you. And it
goes both ways. Girls do it, too. I’ve seen it. It’s so hard; no guys are asking you on a
real date, for the most part. I’ve gone on two dates in my whole life. And when I start
thinking about our parents’ generation I realize that they only dated, they didn’t
hook up. We don’t have asking each other out on dates anymore.”
Student 2: “Yeah, and I really have had to change my expectations about finding a
possible spouse here at Hamilton. My parents got married and met at Hamilton, and
I always thought in my dumb mind that I would find that, too. But the hook-up
culture makes it really hard.”