Let the City of Lights Shine On
“Apparently there was a deadly shooting in Paris like 5 minutes ago. Now I’m kinda freaked out.”
“Sounds like everyone’s going home…this is pretty serious.”
“This seems like an isolated incident though, hopefully.”
“I’m just getting home ASAP. Don’t worry.”
“It’ll all be okay.”
“I love you too.”
“Wow I didn’t realize how serious this was though.”
“I’m safe in my apartment building now.”
These were some of the text messages my boyfriend, studying abroad in Paris, sent me on Friday, November 13th. On my end, there was a lot of freaking out:
“Please stay safe.”
“Don’t die on me.”
“I love you, please don’t die.”
I felt absolutely helpless while he took that metro ride home to the 16th arrondissement from the 11th arrondissement. He had just stepped off the metro to meet up with some other students from the Hamilton study abroad program in Paris; they were going to have a fun Friday night together. What he received instead was a text from his father asking if he was alright. And that was how my boyfriend found out about the Paris Terror Attacks, one of which actually occurred in the 11th arrondissement. The thing is, it had never occurred to me that somebody I love could ever actually be in proximal danger of terror attacks. Obviously, it is always a possibility with the world we live in, but I had never actually considered it as a reality. And, like a train, it hit me. When I found out: he could die. When he got home safely: he could have died. When I heard the rising death count: what about those people and their loved ones? Thinking about this has evoked many tears; while he is safe, I caught a glimpse of what it would have been like to lose him. It feels selfish to discuss my own fears, for so many lives were brutally cut short, and so many people did lose their loved ones that day. Along with the rest of the world, I grieve with Paris.
And I am actually leaving to visit him in Paris on Sunday, November 22nd. The Parisian woman whose apartment I am renting for my stay lost two of her friends in the attacks. I cannot imagine what she, and countless others, must be going through with this and other attacks in the world presently happening. I could have lost a loved one, but I did not; they did and are still.
But the resilience of Paris does not surprise me. It seems to me that it and its people have always been a strong nation and community. And that, among other reasons, is why I am still, without question, headed there in a couple days. Just as my boyfriend and many Parisians deeply mourned, but resumed business the Saturday after the attacks, we cannot allow fear to drive our lives. I cannot wait to see the city of lights shine on.