If you know me at all, then you know that I’m a MAJOR planner. I like having a plan, whether it’s for my week, my day, or the date that I’m going on. I have a white-board calendar up in my room that lays out my month, a planner to keep track of my day-to-day schedule and life things I need to get done, and a whole notebook dedicated to my homework to-do lists. All three are color-coordinated. This leads me to have a hard time with spontaneity, even though it’s something that I romanticize. Part of the reason I romanticize it (and many of you probably do or have), is because of FOMO: the “fear of missing out.”
FOMO seems to be common among people, especially college students. In my three years of college so far, I can’t remember how many times I’ve felt it. Missed parties, events and outings with friends. FOMO has even caused me to feel guilty about sleeping, a bodily necessity, because I wasn’t out doing something “fun.” And when that’s your thought process, it can be difficult to break it and tell yourself that what you chose to do was the right choice.
But that’s something all of us facing FOMO have to do. We can’t live in this constant fear that there’s “something better” out there that we should be doing.
There’s a handful of ways that I’ve learned to fight my FOMO.
First, you have to acknowledge your FOMO, right there, in that moment. It can be hard, but it’s important. The moment you start to feel FOMO, you’re missing out on your present. So, instead of missing out on whatever’s provoking the FOMO, you’re also missing out on what you’re currently doing. But when you acknowledge it, you give yourself the opportunity to choose what you want in your present moment.
This brings me to my second point: when making plans and commitments, ask yourself, “Do I actually want to do this?” If the answer’s no, then you can find something else you want to do. When you answer the question with yes, relish in the fact that you made the decision for yourself. I can guarantee you FOMO won’t be around when you’re in that moment.
On a similar route, if there’s something you want to do, then do it. There’s a post, quote, story (whatever you consider it) on the internet along the lines of “This little kid said the only reason they want to be an adult is so they can buy a whole cake and eat it for breakfast. I agreed but then realized, ‘I am an adult. I can go and do this.’” What I’m trying to say, is that there’s nothing stopping you from doing the things you want to do (not even FOMO can stop you now).
On more of a macro-level, FOMO is one of the many societal pressures we face. For me, it rears its ugly head in the form of “by age ___, you should have ___.” And what’s better than waving a giant middle finger at society’s restricting expectations? (As a sociology major, the answer to this is nothing!).
Finally, don’t be afraid to do things alone. Is there a new restaurant you want to try? Date night for one, please! For me, I’ve let my FOMO get in the way because I didn’t have anyone to go with me. I used to be terrified of doing things alone, but now I’m full of anticipation when I get the opportunity to go to a coffee shop or shopping by myself. Doing things alone is healthy and necessary for growth.
That’s what we’re tackling, right? How to learn to enjoy the present and how to make choices for ourselves. These things can be incredibly hard. Conquering FOMO is just one way to do that.