The Ex Factor

Still have feelings for your ex? Lurking their social media? Reminiscing about what used to be? Thinking about texting or calling them?

That’s completely normal. Feelings usually won’t leave as fast as you do. It’s perfectly fine to still have butterflies in your stomach for someone you used to be with, especially if you loved them. Though it is okay for feelings to remain, the feelings should be evaluated.

Here are ten things to think about when dealing with the ex-factor:

1. Why do you still have feelings for them?

Do you genuinely miss them? Does he/she still have potential to not only be an amazing significant other, but can he be everything you need them to be and more? If they don’t have potential, and you’re just infatuated with what used to be, then there is honestly no purpose in trying.

1. Tell him.

This is usually a huge step for many girls, because of course, it’s easier to keep feelings bottled up. On the other hand, telling him may be beneficial, he may feel the same way. Whether he does or doesn’t, it will feel like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders because who knows how long this this been in your heart and mind.

1. Evaluate the situation.

How has he/she been acting toward you lately? Are they being flirtatious to you and that’s why the feelings are resurfacing? Did you tell him/her how you felt and they started being standoffish? Think about how he/she is acting and how it’s making you feel.

1. What do you want from them?

If you want a relationship again, say that. If you want a little less, then say that. Make sure you ask yourself what exactly you want, and communicate that to him/her in a mature way.

1. Do they feel the same way?

If he/she has effectively expressed how they feel, that’s the main thing that needs to be taken into consideration. If they have not, he/she may be surprised or nervous, or they may just be trying to play it off – which isn’t okay. If you’re expressing your feelings, they should be doing the same, you deserve that much for being so brave by letting them know.

1. Is it worth another try?

If you really think it would be a waste of time, then don’t waste your time! If you know them like the back of your hand and you already know how this is situation is going to go, and you know that nothing has changed – don’t hurt yourself.

1. Why did you initially break up?

If the breakup had anything to do with infidelity, abuse, or anything that is unforgivable or could happen again, don’t even try it again. If it was a simple breakup where you just both agreed it was over or it was something personal with one of you, it may not hurt to try again, just to see what’ll happen.

1. Are you just lonely?

It’s “cuffing season,” is that the reason why you want them back? If you’re just bored and you want a cuddle buddy, or even something a little more, this isn’t the way to go – it’s pointless.

1. Be patient.

When it comes to patience, you have to think about what you’re waiting for. Are one of you trying to get yourselves together or are you just harping on something that may not be worth the try?

1. Let go.

If you’ve went through this list and realized that it’s really not worth getting your heart broken again, let that MANGO. (There’s a pun to make you feel better, ha.)

On a serious note, if you’ve done all that you can, poured your heart out to him/her, and they’re not doing the same, it’s time to let him/her go; why hold on to dead weight? You are an amazing, strong, intelligent person, and you need a significant other that’s going to treat you as such. You can be as in love with him/her as you want to be, but at the end of the day, if you’ve really evaluated the situation and it’s dead, you’re now hurting yourself.

Well, now the ball is in your court. What are you going to do with those feelings?