The saying “You don’t know what you got until it’s gone” is a valid statement. I never took that saying seriously until what I had was taken away from myself and my family.
Picture it on October 31st, 2014…Halloween time! The spookiest time of the year that is one of the most adventurous, fun times of the year especially for a fifteen-year-old. Well, this Halloween was unreal! The day my family and I had to move out of our house into the motel across the street. I didn’t know how to react. My whole body went numb. It was a dose of reality that was injected into me that just froze my body and brain …my presence as a whole. I didn’t cry because how could you be in a state of shock?!! It’s possible. Anyone in that situation when they are told to leave their home…the place where your memories were created, the good, bad, unpredictable, surprise!!! For me it represented the memories I have formed since I moved to California…it symbolized a new life. To have that life taken away…cut like a samurai sword slicing my heart. For two years my body was paralyzed by the reality of not having a place to grow for two years.
During my sophomore and junior year, which are usually the most difficult years in highschool typically, I tried to block out life after school. I kept to myself the secret about my home life without a home. So you could say I led a double life at school and with my family during that situation. At school, I was able to maintain my bubbly, quirky, sassy attitude for as long as I could. My depression/anger came out in little bursts whether if it was over something little like the weather being rainy instead of sunny. However, I was still able to concentrate on my studies. My studies were used as a getaway from reality. I knew I was going to attend college and become the first doctor in my family to buy us all a nice house to stay secure in with no worry about anyone telling us we have to leave. It molded the caring side of myself that caused me to want to care for others besides myself.
Now six years later, I have learned that no matter how hard you work for something there is always a chance it could get snatched away from you. So that enhanced my work ethic to give my 110% to everything I care about. Being homeless also taught me to utilize any resources in front of myself that I took to college with me. Before this situation happened I felt like people should give to me and never realized or took into account what an individual might be going through. So therefore I became more empathetic the older I got and was able to look at other sides of the spectrum and how to be there emotionally and physically for the ones that need it. I also became more giving to the ones I know who are struggling because I understand what it was like and wouldn’t want to go back.
The patient side of me also came to realize that usually many good things require a process that could be months, years maybe decades. I also never would have invested my time in having the loving relationship with God that I have now. At first, I believed in him because that was how I was raised but now I understand the relationship my mom and younger sister had with him. If it wasn’t for the robbed of my home I would have never imagined myself being the hardworking, driven, emotionally available god fearing woman to the best advantage I could be.