By: Symone Conway
Friends with benefits is worth it in college. You experiment, find out what you like and dont like and learn valuable lessons. Most people will disagree and say it’s not worth it because of the emotional damage that can follow. However, emotional damage can come from a relationship. Emotional damage can come from a number of things, why not be less tied down to that “emotional damage” and live life on the wild side a bit?
By definition, a friend with benefits is a friend you have casual and occasional sexual relations with. The physical interactions that occur between these friends is typically on a “no strings attached” agreement, meaning they’re not committed to each other in any way and are also free to date other people at the same time. The key to a working friends with benefits relationship is honesty, safety, lack of expectation, and clear boundaries. These relationships can teach people their kinks, turn ons & turn offs, and how to balance a two-fold relationship, especially in terms of communication.
Truth be told, the idea of a “friends with benefits” relationship is highly manipulative. It gives someone who doesn’t want to put in relationship commitment access to relationship activities. It also gives both parties a chance to catch feelings in an agreement where feelings are usually looked down upon. Friends with benefits is just a casual, “friendly” hookup, but really at what expense?
…At the expense of experience! We only get one life to live and more often than not we are taught the same lessons through multiple people or events. The more experience you get with a certain scenario, the better you are at handling it. It’s like the first day on a job. Some tasks might seem overwhelming right? Your employer might throw you straight into the fire and expect you to get adjusted quickly. Not saying daily interactions should feel like a job, but the longer you work that job, the easier it gets to manage and control.
Another reason friends with benefits is worth it is because on a completely hopeful note, it could end in a friends to lovers situation. The best things often come in unexpected ways and in the case that both parties gain feelings for each other, the once “FWB” situation can grow into something highly romantic and beautiful.
In the case that it doesn’t work out and someone ends up hurt, many are probably thinking about how it could still be worth it. The fact of the matter is some emotions are apart of life. Everyone will experience bliss, heartbreak, excitement, thrill, and sadness. FWB gives some people control and limitations over the situation which can help ease the possible extent of heartbreak.
And in a generation that is seemingly scared of commitment or obsessed with talking to multiple people, FWB is usually a first resort for many as they do not wanna be tied down. But they also use the logic that they don’t want to be hurt again or have trust issues to continue moving as freely as they want rather than taking the necessary steps to heal and be stable enough for a relationship—though that part is neither here nor there.
Those who have been in a FWB relationship before understand the character building that comes with it. After the relationship ends abruptly or one-sided, you swear to yourself that you’ll keep your guard up and enforce stronger boundaries next time; and truth be told, if the FWB ended heartbrokenly enough, you will stand on the changes you plan to make with your next sexual partner.
All in all, friends with benefits is worth it. There’s a lot you can learn about the other person and yourself from a situation like that. You also get the chance to possibly experiment with different sexual desires, so long as being safe matters to you as well. Friends with benefits is a character building phenomenon that can be enlightening and an even larger learning experience.