Cuffing season is here and it is time to draft your star player (or build your rosters). Sometimes when you are more on the introverted side your GM skills may be lacking. Navigating the dating world as an introvert can be a struggle being that it can be hard making friends. It can sometimes seem that extroverts have an easier time during cuffing season while introverts are consistently overlooked. Nevertheless, introverts can successfully participate in cuffing season and any season for that matter!Â
Both introversion and extraversion are personality traits that describe how a person spends and/or recharges their energy. Introverts tend to enjoy spending time with smaller groups of people, focusing on their inner thoughts and recharging their social battery alone. Extroverts are the exact opposite; they recharge by spending time with others and enjoy spending time with larger crowds. This allows extroverts to navigate social situations and the dating scene with more ease. Introverts are likely to be perceived as quiet, shy, and withdrawn when that is not necessarily the case. While introverts may possess some of these qualities, they are extroverted in environments they feel comfortable in. Due to how introverts are perceived some people do not bother interacting with them. In combination with them being reserved, they can quickly find dating to be a daunting and exhausting task. So what can you do?
First, think about why you are introverted. Is it by nature or was it developed through past traumas? This is key because this can help you decide what kind of approach to take when putting yourself out there. If it is from past traumas you may want to take a slower, gentler approach because you can quickly find yourself in some triggering situations. If it’s by nurture, buckle buttercup it’s time to put yourself out there for once. Either way, it can be scary so start off by going to places and events involving your personal hobbies/interests. This way it will be easier for you to spark up a conversation based on similar interests which should allow you to open up more. When on a date you can also have small conversational topics prepared prior to allowing yourself to be more relaxed and confident.Â
Speaking of opening up more, introverts normally place low value on superficial conversation and are internal. Try externalizing more of your thoughts and communicating with others more. This can attract more people both platonically and romantically. You never know who is interested or likes what you have to say. With this, not everyone will be interested and this can lead to some feelings of social rejection. Honestly, it is all a part of the game and you can’t really avoid it. Not everyone is going to like you and that is okay! What is for you will find you, just be your honest, true self. Being that introverts place high-value on authenticity this should not be an issue. Also, this will be important when you are actually in a relationship/situationship because introverts are so internal they often do not speak up for their needs. People CANNOT read your minds so instead of just quietly getting upset, address any feelings when you feel that something is lacking or could be better. Communication is key.
Only make time for people you are genuinely interested in. Do not allow external forces (friends, family, etc.) to pressure you into doing otherwise. This makes dating less exhausting or else you will feel like you are wasting your time. Remember you are working with a lower social battery so spending time with a compatible person drains it slower. If you are not yet sure spend shorter periods of time with these people. Also do not be afraid to keep a roster they can always be cut later. Keep in mind these aforementioned compatible people may not be introverted at all. So be open to doing activities that you would not normally do. Who knows you may enjoy them. Do not be afraid to introduce things you like to do to them if it is not already a shared interest.
Dating is hard whether you are an introvert or an extrovert but in a world that rewards and applauds extroversion, introverts can have a harder time. Introverts can be hard to read but if you open up and focus on having fun (and safe) where can you go wrong? Don’t put too much pressure on yourself or other people. Some beautiful things may unfold, you might mess around and offer an extension past their cuffing season contract.