Often times we find that there is a narcissist in the friendships or relationships we are in. The negative Nancy’s, the bad apple that spoiled the whole bunch. You know that one friend who is always commenting about something negative and always bragging and boasting about finally getting “rid of the all that negativity” in her life, but nothing has changed?
Or maybe that friend is you, maybe you were the negative girl/guy in your previous friendships and relationships. Maybe they needed to get rid of you, and that’s okay because you aren’t made to be perfect for everyone. In order to not miss out on the opportunity with the right one though, you must start taking accountability and changing some things, so you won’t be someone that others have to “fall back on, or leave behind”.
You probably are wondering when you might be seen as the negative one in the situation. Usually it’s when it consumes you, if anytime the person you’re no longer cool with is brought up and you’re quick to bash them or have to constantly explain all the wrong they did, they have too much power over you. This then causes you to appear bitter and negative for no reason. Now whoever you just ranted to about that person has the image of you being a hater or miserable.
Yes, they may have did you wrong but the problem is that you won’t let it go nor have you mastered the art of forgiveness and that alone will always set you back. It’s okay to be upset and mad at the person who hurt you, you are human, you are allowed.
The hurt should never control nor define you. The day you realize that the only power you have is control over your REACTION and not their ACTIONS, is the day you’ll stop giving petty situations extra time and energy.
Often times we don’t realize that we do and say things which become a template for the way other people treat us. Things won’t always work out for you and that’s okay. Soon as they don’t work out remove yourself, stop trying to justify the situation and blame the devil. You knew it wouldn’t have worked but you forced it to.
There’s only so many times where you can blame someone for mistreating you, hurting you, and misleading you. TRUST ME I was quick to post a meme about “how better I’m living now that I got rid of toxic people”, so damn passive aggressive and petty. That showed me that me being who I am and constantly having high expectations and giving no one any breathing room to make mistakes, that I will forever be disappointed if I keep expecting people to be perfect at all times. Putting faith in people is a risk in itself, don’t blame them for being them. Â
Our biggest downfall as people is that we don’t take accountability, we never point the finger at ourselves when we’re our biggest downfall. Don’t let your pride get in a way of a good friendship/relationship just because YOU THINK , you didn’t have to change anything on your part.