Situationship: To Be or Not to Be?

Meet Samantha & Michael: a pairing that was completely unpredicted but happened. From shared mutual(s), they soon became intimate. That was until they no longer shared the same page(s) in their book. 

Six months post break up, there stood a young woman willing to insert herself in a situationship. As serious as she desired to be taken, she would often remind herself that she is in no space to invest into a full blown relationship. But Samantha could have some perks of a relationship, right? Along came Samantha and a situationship. 

A situationship according to Urban Dictionary is less than a relationship, but more than a booty call, a situationship refers to a romantic relationship that is, and will remain, undefined. 

Undefined. A word that had become Samantha’s best friend within the past month or three. 

Having no prior experience of a situationship, she soon became a newcomer to the community. Samantha often dwells on her first thoughts of this new era. A rush of anticipation grew over her quickly. She had no doubt in her mind that this style of relationship would suit her more than a defined relationship. That was until Samantha inserted herself into the ring and her emotions began to knock her out of the match before she could throw her first punch.

Before we visit a brief experience of a failed situationship, let’s review the top three things that are not so situationship friendly:

• Becoming emotionally invested
• Putting all your eggs in one basket
• Trying to read in between the lines

Seems like a piece of cake, especially when the person you’re in a situationship with chose you. 

Michael chose Samantha. You could not say otherwise. She was not looking for any intimacy with her male counterparts at the time, but he somehow convinced her to take a shot at something new. 

Samantha thought that she would never know what she needed until she explored her options, so the adventure began. Michael and her would talk every now and again, hangout on occasions and eventually test the waters of physical intimacy. It was an exhilarating experience for her, to say the least. She had the attention of someone from time to time, he was willing to intentionally get to know her, and he seemed to be the most fitting guy for her to explore with. While she enjoyed the time spent with Michael, she attempted to keep her options open by texting other men who called her name here and there. Those options went from little to none within a few days. 

Her time spent with Michael prevented her from keeping up with the other men. No matter how many times she’d express to the prospects that she was overwhelmed by her academic endeavors, they would not budge. Slowly but surely these prospects trickled into dust. The only person left at bat was Michael.

Hopefully, we are all on the same page here. We can expect what happens next.

Yes, Samantha begins to develop or as we say “catch feelings” for Michael. Trying to remain unaware of the feelings, she proceeded with the situationship as normal. But now, the dynamics have shifted. She started to feel distance from Michael that she did not feel before. At this point, there was no active communication between them. She could only wish on a shooting star for him to contact her soon. Samantha started to run out of patience. She felt like she was waiting for ages and it had only been a few days. Still, he had yet to initiate anything with her. In response, she began to try reading between the lines. 

“Does Michael like me? Why haven’t I heard from him? I know we were just together the past few days, but I would think he would give me a call? Is someone else in the picture? Did I do something wrong? Am I being rejected?”

The questions drove Samantha crazy. She wanted clarity. Michael needed to provide Samantha a sense of reassurance for her to feel sane. Little did she realize, the clarity she wanted was seated before her: she was emotionally attracted to Michael. Samantha had to be honest with herself before taking any further steps. She needed to assess the reality and determine what would be next for herself in regards to a relationship with Michael.

Was the situationship best for Samantha? Is it time for her to call it quits and be okay with knowing it did not work out?

Today, Samantha still lingers on what she could have done differently to avoid getting her feelings involved. 

Samantha and Michaels’s story is something that often happens to the best of us. We give thought to trying something new, actually test the waters and it does not turn out how we desire.

Samantha could have chosen to avoid the experience all in all, yet she did not. Is it fair to say that because of this experience with Michael that Samantha is unable to be successful in a situationship? Eh, you can make that conclusion but it may not be 100% accurate. 

We may never know what happens next with Samantha and Michael, but we can foresee that Michael will reiterate the idea that they are strictly friends and he is not willing to establish anything more than where they stand now.

Should you decide to enter a situationship, know how to navigate your feelings. Most importantly, remember to play by the three cardinal rules: DO NOT become emotionally invested, DO NOT put all your eggs in one basket and DO NOT try to read in between the lines. You may just be spending three months of your life unsure and confused as Samantha did. 

So, situationship: to be or not to be?

• college
• sex
• situationships