Your best friend and her man just broke up and she’s giving you and the rest of the girls a play by play on what went down. After she explains how her ex broke her heart, you and the rest of the crew join in unison and shout “men ain’t sh*t and ain’t never gonna be sh*t.”
This phrase and explanation as to why women get heartbroken is used heavily nowadays. While this might be the case it’s usually not the only thing that contributed to us getting our hearts broken.
Nine times out of ten the man indicated early on that he was trash and had no intentions of living up to your expectations. Some guys will verbally say “I’m not good enough for you,” others will exhibit behavior that clearly translates to “I’m just not that interested.”
I once had a guy tell me that I deserve better and he was playing games. I acted like Helen Keller and pretended not to see or hear any of the signs this man wrapped in a bow and placed in my lap.
I thought I really liked him and just had to overlook his flaws and keep hope alive, but in all honesty I realized I was holding on to this relationship so tight. I believed this was the only one I was going to have.
From a young age women are taught that the key to their happiness is finding a man and that their worth lies in that man. This lie convinces us that we have to put up with any and everything and in most cases it has a negative effect on our confidence.
When we fail to acknowledge our true worth we settle and put up with a lot of things that we do not deserve and this includes overlooking red flags that were there from the very beginning.
None of this makes the actions of men excusable but it does make us take accountability for our actions, acknowledge what mistakes we made, and it helps us with navigating future relationships.
After that one instance in which the guy I was dating told me I deserved better I told myself I would never put myself in another situation where a man would be able to tell me I deserved better before I realized it myself.
Building up our confidence and truly acknowledging what we deserve would help us sniff out the men who are not worth our time a lot easier, and it may even save us from getting our heart broken ( at least sometimes).
If we stop buying tickets to the circus we would see less clowns. In other words, if we continue to work and fully commit to loving ourselves we would be less willing to overlook and put up with the bs a lot of men continue to spew out into this world. You deserve better, sis so go and get it!