February is the season of all things love as we celebrate Valentine’s Day with the people who mean the most to us. This holiday is a day to appreciate the pure and authentic love that exists within our lives. Whether it’s done through gift-giving, quality time, or acts of appreciation, many use this holiday to express their love in some of the best ways they know how. Though Valentine’s Day is a day of love, many find themselves feeling more lonely and single than ever. However, the fact is, being single and content with being alone, is way better than being stuck with a toxic situation or attachment. Let’s dive deeper into some of the healthy and toxic attachment styles to look out for this Valentine’s Day!
Toxic Attachments
Toxic attachments tend to be the root of heartbreaks that unfortunately many people go through. Falling for someone’s potential and all of what they can be, rather than what the situation truly is, often happens when involved in unhealthy attachments or situationships. Being too attached to another being is usually toxic because you’re in a situation where you feel as though you need the other to feel whole. It’s so important that when you are involving yourself in any relationship, you are secure with yourself, leaving no room for toxic attachment to manifest itself into the connection. Let’s explore the different types of attachment styles that can be seen within a relationship.
Avoidant Attachment
Avoidant attachment style relates to the avoidance of a situation as an attempt to make it disappear. Oftentimes this attachment style is used when trying to avoid conflict within the relationship, in fear of causing a bigger deal about the situation at hand. Those who find themselves with avoidant attachment can have trouble expressing their true feelings and may come off as “nonchalant”. This attachment style can manifest itself into adulthood and exist in many aspects of a relationship. Avoidance can cause insecurity and miscommunication, and that’s never healthy or ideal in a relationship.
Anxious Attachment
Anxious attachment styles stem from the fear and anxiety that your partner won’t express or reciprocate the same feelings as you do. It can often come from trust issues in past relationships, or even past family trauma. These types of attachments thrive off of reassurance, they crave approval from their partner. At times, this attachment style can become a recipe for heartbreak as the validation they seek is not what the other person can truly give them.
Secure Attachment Style
A secure attachment style is one where both parties involved in the relationship are confident on their own. They can love and appreciate themselves and not rely on the other person for their own happiness. In a cohesive, healthy relationship, you should exist and be happy on your own, and your partner should be an addition to the happiness that already exists within you. You should push each other to be the best versions of yourself, and always have each other’s best interest in life with or without them.
Healthy Relationships
We all long for a healthy relationship so that we can feel secure. This means you and your partner are able to communicate efficiently, trust one another wholeheartedly, and respect each other indefinitely. These types of relationships don’t only have to be romantic. Recognizing healthy friendship and family relationships are also incredibly vital. Any connection or relationship that exists within your life should serve to benefit you or be an addition to your life. Acknowledging your own attachment styles and tendencies can help you find the type of love that is healthy for you. You should never feel drained when exploring relationships because healthy relationships do exist! Set your standards high this Valentine’s Day, and don’t settle for anyone less than exceptional!