You Never know A Good thing Until its Gone

Losing a parent at an early age can be pretty traumatic. The world is at a constant standby for what seems like an eternity. People no longer look at you the same. All of a sudden you’re known as “the help,” and people walk around eggshells when around you. They’re afraid that they might trigger something, waiting for you to break down. 

On the outside, you may appear like everything is alright. But buried deep into your subconscious you know something is wrong; you lost a parent. At first it feels pretty weird because this constant figure that once was in your life is gone. There is now a piece missing from you. Parents are known to always protect their young and make sure nothing ever happens to them. But what happens when that security blanket is gone? You feel naked, alone, and afraid. 

The essence of grief consumes you, then you’re left with a wave of emotions that hit you at the most inconvenient times. Along with that comes the long-term emotional problems due to their failure to resolve their sense of loss. People have their own methods of trying to get over it, whether they are effective enough depends on the person. 

The trauma seeps into your relationship with others at a cost. Those who lost a parent at an early age tend to struggle with forming relationships with friends and families due to the traumatic experience. Your other friends can’t possibly understand what you’re going through because they still have both of their parents. They don’t understand the pain it causes you when they bad- mouth their parents or even take them for granted. At times the “Yo Momma” jokes hit a little too close to home. Or when your friends mention how controlling their parents maybe in the moment. 

As for your siblings, the relationship may change on numerous levels. Each of you  are each dealing with the loss in their own way, so talking to them can be potentially pointless. Some may lash out, turn over to doing drugs or just never mention it. The pain at some point becomes too much because your siblings can be a constant reminder of what has happened. 

What no one ever talks about after losing a parent is the guilt that comes along with it. Sometimes you feel as though you could have done more, or should have said more. How you should have cherished the happy moments more and not dwell on the bad. 

Essentially, you don’t know a good thing until it’s gone. When it comes to your parents, you think that they’re going to live forever, and you never want to see them leave. And when they do, you feel nothing but heartache. Overtime, the heartache dulls and you’re left with just a void.