The 7 Types of Procrastination

All of us have been some of these during our college career. Some of us have been all of them. True champs have been all of these in one night.

1. The Brain Breaker

You’ve scoped out brain breaks at all of the upperclassman houses. In fact, you laugh at (and pity) your friends who don’t know that houses have longer brain break hours than Annenberg. You’re pushing the slang word “procrastineat” harder than Gretchen Wieners pushed “fetch”.

2. The Caffeinater

You’re likely good friends with The Brain Breaker (brain break means free coffee, duh). Hey, you may not be able to commit to finishing that expos paper, but you can definitely commit to staying awake for a few more hours. Often tells The Brain Breaker that “procaffienate” rolls off the tongue much more easily and is actually the next big thing.

3. The Social Media Maven

A few minutes here and there on Facebook or Hercampus is normal, but when faced with a mountain of homework, you become a social media pro on Tumblr, Twitter, Reddit, and maybe even LinkedIn. The night of a big homework assignment, you’d deny the fact that Myspace is no longer a legitimate means of social networking.

4. The Lamonster

A proud night owl (seriously, I’ve never seen anyone as proud as a Lamonster), you’re full of all kinds of useful information such as the hours of every library on campus (available at a moment’s notice as proof of why Lamont is the best) and tips on how to get through the Lamont bag check as quickly as possible.

5. The Netflixer

You’ve got as many pages in your calendar marked for important TV show releases as you do actual assignments. Your eyes are becoming glossy from staring at your computer screen but you’re building your stamina for later when you have to do homework on your laptop, right?

6. The Napper

Napping always seems like such a good idea (“I’ll nap now and wake up in an hour and then really crank out that pset) until it’s 1 am and you’re wide awake. Meet the Lamonster.

7. The Productive Procrastinator

Arguably the best type of procrastinator, you procrastinate by doing lesser tasks like laundry, cleaning, or video chatting your best friend. This type of procrastination is both most tempting and also the easiest to cover up. It’s a good thing you’re so productive while you’re unproductive because otherwise it would be a miracle if you ever got anything done.

Whatever your procrastination style of choice, rest assured that you are in good company. Anyway, it’s been said that time enjoyed wasting was not wasted. 

• procrastination