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Ask Elle: When to Step In

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Harvard chapter.

Dear Elle,

I’m a junior and I have a friend (not a close friend, but a friend) who I’ve known since freshman year, and we see each other a lot because we’re in a club together. When she got to college she wasn’t drinking any more than the rest of us were, but since then she’s gotten pretty bad. Her grades are okay, but she’s drunk every single weekend and on some weeknights, and she has absolutely no interest in hanging out with us if there’s no booze involved. It’s been going on for a long time, and I don’t know what to do… Should I say something?

HCXO,

A Concerned Friend

 

Dear Concerned,

Thanks for writing in, but I hope you also contacted a resident tutor (yours, hers, her grandmother’s, whatever) or one of the other token “adults” on campus. I’ll point you to some resources, both for you and for her, and give you a huge pat on the back for being a good human, but that’s about as far as you or I should take this on our own.

First, here’s some good stuff to help you out, courtesy of UHS and some of the awesome health groups we have on campus. You’ve seen it before, but trust me, these numbers can never be posted enough.

The professionals

In an emergency (obviously): 911

HUHS: 617-495-5711

Office of Alcohol and Other Drug Services (AODS): 617-496-0133

Peer counseling

Contact: 617-495-8111

Room 13: 617-495-4969

Someone trained to help out will probably say this better than I can, but I’ll give it a shot anyways. Obviously you realize how serious alcohol abuse is. At this point it sure sounds like she’s dependent on the stuff, which is bad news, but I hope she gets treatment before it develops into the full-blown, capital-D Disease that is alcoholism. Our mental image of an alcoholic is someone’s grumpy old great-uncle, or of the line outside a homeless shelter, but it’s just as ugly when the alcoholic is fully functional and apparently doing well for themselves otherwise.

That being said, past being her friend and helping out as much as you’re willing and able, this girl and her problems are not your responsibility. She needs to be in charge of her own life in order to make any good changes for herself. As much as I’m sure you and your friends care and want to help, and as much as you can love and support her, she’s the one who needs to run the race. You’re just cheering her on.

Best wishes, and best of luck to your friend.

HCXO,

Elle

 

Elle is an undergrad at Harvard who would love to tackle any #harvardproblems you throw at her. Ask her anything!
 Michelle is a senior at Harvard College hailing from Long Island, New York. She is pursuing a degree in Comparative Literature with a minor in English and special focus fields in sleep deprivation and procrastination. At any given moment, you are most likely to find her racking up points on her Starbucks Gold Card, writing by the Charles River, or stalking Boo's latest photo shoot. Michelle couldn't be more excited to be part of the Her Campus team and bring HC to life on Harvard's campus, and she would love to hear from you with any feedback!