Evil Kermit Moments to Kick off the Year

I think these memes are out of fashion now, which means that I get to start using them! We all have these Evil Kermit moments, and below are just a few! 

*In dining hall*

Me: let’s be healthy: I’ll have some quinoa and some salad.

Me to me: Get the french fries and dessert.

*Makes a mess in dining hall*

Me: *gasps*

Me to me: Just walk away. Walk away like you were never here.

*Spills water in the dining hall* Me: Grab some napkins. Clean it up.

Me to me: It’s fine. It’s water. It’ll evaporate.

Me: You know, I’m really interested in Comparative Religion…

Me to me: No, you’re really interested in Economics. $$$$$

Me: I really should get to those readings.

Me to me: Reading your texts and snapchats, more like.  

Me: I need to be more productive. Off to do psets!

Me to me: Your phone beckons.

Me: I’ll get to it.

Me to me: YOUR PHONE BECKONS NOW, YOUNG LADY!

Me: I need to do research for this paper.

Me to me: Ooh! A Buzzfeed Quiz! Which Disney Princess are you?

*At midnight*

Me: I should go to bed. It’s late and I have early morning classes tomorrow.

Me to me: Relax. Unwind a little, it’ll help you fall asleep better.

*Finishes one episode*

Me: Okay, bed.

Me to me: One more!

*At three A.M.*

Me: Oh no. I need to stop.

Me to me: You have five more hours before you need to wake up. Hit the next episode button.

Me: But…

Me: DO IT.

What did you think? Love them? Hate them? If you loved them, go read part 2, if you hated them, read part 2 to hate some more! HCXO!