Dear cup of coffee sitting on my desk,
Come on. Turn around. Look, just because you’re hurt doesn’t mean you can give me the cold handle. I’m just going to come out and say it…I feel like we don’t even know each other anymore. I know you’ve been feeling neglected lately but I need to be honest, this relationship is becoming toxic. You’re the first thing I need to see every morning and the last taste I must have before sleep. You get jealous when I spend time with my friends without you and if I don’t see you enough during the day, I don’t feel like myself. I can’t focus. I know you never meant for this to become an addiction. I don’t see you as a pleasure anymore, but a burden. I know you stood by my side: through college apps and all-nighters, through thesis sessions and hard talks in cafés all around the world. I’ve thought a lot about where we stand and decided, I love you too much to let you go, but things need to change. You have to stop being so controlling every time I try to leave for class without seeing you first. I can’t leave in the middle of things anymore to find you just because you’re feeling lonely. And the next time everyone is sipping solo cups at my friend’s birthday party, I don’t want to be holding you in the corner.
I understand that our co-dependent relationship is going to take effort on both ends to mend and so I propose a truce. If you promise to let me diminish the quantity of time we spend together, I promise to enhance the quality. I will take you in more slowly, relishing in each touch of my lips. I will focus more just on you in the time that we spend together as opposed to tossing you to the side at the whim of every email and article sitting on my conscience. Like I said before, I don’t want to end what we share. It’s special, but something needs to change.
I’m going to go to the gym now to work out some of my frustrations and you need to stay here, on my desk, and cool off. Don’t go crying to Italian Sweet Cream or Splenda either – they’ve already taken my side. I want this to be a step we take together. For both of us.
HCXO,
Amanda minus caffeine
Ps. If you really want this to work you need to stop letting Biscotti interrupt our one-on-one time so frequently. My butt is still angry at him after the three pounds he surprised us with last week.