It’s that time of year again. Summer is upon us and we all want to look our best for the beach, summer flings, and weird family barbeques! While they say to keep all of your beauty secrets under lock and key, here are a few I am willing to share because I’m feeling generous today:
1. Get Out and Sweat!
Nothing better for your body than to sweat it out. We all want to look our best for beach days in bikinis and summer nights in skimpy dresses. If you aren’t the exercise type, don’t worry I’ve got an easy trick for you. Stay up all night worrying about your future, the state of the world, or the meaning of the human experience. I can guarantee you will sweat the equivalent of running a 5k!
2. Don’t forget to exfoliate!
Sweat, sand, sunscreen, all kinds of things can get stuck in your pores during the summer. I know these days exfoliation doesn’t come cheap, so here is what I use and I swear it works twice as well. I let my dog lick my face for a minimum of 17 minutes a day. Their rough tongues will get everything off of your face. Bonus! It’s a delightful experience. If you don’t have a dog, you can borrow mine.
3. Get that color
We all love a good tan, but we know all the risks of lying out. Here’s my alternative: go out in the middle of the night (preferably on the night of a full moon) and find a stop sign, turn the lights of your car on to reflect on said stop sign and put your face very close to it until it glows red. Take a picture and post it on instagram. No one will deny that you got some color!
4. Look hot at the beach
We all love our summer treats. From ice cream to hotdogs, summer really does have it all. Some of the best summer treats can be found at our very own Jersey Shore. If you are lucky enough to make it to the internationally renowned Ocean City boardwalk or something similar I have some advice. Don’t eat crab fries in front of friends, family, or general public. I repeat, do not eat these in front of other people. I mean this. Keep it classy and take those suckers to a private place and chow down. This also goes for funnel cake.
5. That final touch
Summer is a time for fun, sun and whatever else rhymes with those. Don’t forget to focus on what’s important in the coming months. My last tip is the most important. Accept the way you look, enjoy your summer, have fun, be with friends and family and show your stuff off because who cares? In the immortal words of the great philanthropist Mindy Kaling in her Why Not Me? book, “If you’ve got it, flaunt it. And if you don’t got it? Flaunt it. ’Cause what are we even doing here if we’re not flaunting it?”