First off, thank you for all the submissions! Click here to submit.
This weeks theme is, Who the F*ck Raised You?Â
There were many submissions of dirty, grimy, inconsiderate, just NASTY roommates. Word of advice, clean your sh*t up. No one is going to hold your hand for the rest of your life. Your roommates deserve to live in a clean space. Stop being so selfish.
Please enjoy, each roommate was given a nickname.
1. Pesty Roach
Campus:Â University of Hawaii, Manoa
Gender:Â MaleÂ
Story:Â
PLEASE READ THIS ONE… EVERYONE.
“My housemate hoarded all of his dirty dishes, pots, and pans in his room. So much so that there were no dishes for anyone else to use in the kitchen. He was addicted to gaming and would spend all day locked up in his room playing video games. I always asked him to please do his dishes so others could cook. Finally, one day I stormed into his room to confront him about it. His king-sized bed was covered in all the dishes, full of mold and bugs. It was so disgusting. He was sleeping on his couch, surrounded by old pizza boxes and trash bags full of beer cans and ash (he smoked cigarettes in his room). The worst part was that  his floor was covered with old bottles of beer or soda, filled with his pee. I lived with him for over two years and only saw him come out of the shower twice. He refused to buy toilet paper because he said he didn’t use any. When I moved out, the landlady accused me of leaving my trash in the basement. I had never used the basement and had never even gone down there. When we went to check it, we discovered he had been hoarding bags and bags of trash in the basement. Instead of taking out the trash when it was his turn, he would just throw it in the basement. Of course the basement had mice and cockroaches. Unbelievable!!”
Editors comment:
I have no words about this one. None.
2. Spoiled Fried Chicken
Campus:Â University of Nevada, Reno
Gender:Â Female
Story:Â
“I moved into my apartment this year and we had one spot left that wasn’t taken. We figured it would be fine since it’s only one person, how much damage could she do? Welp, turns out she keeps the HEATER AT 85 DEGREES YEAR ROUND WHEN SLEEPING and that’s a literal sauna. She fries chicken at home and leaves the oil and mess out for weeks, as well as moldy food and a kitchen full of dishes that she will not clean or put away until she’s asked to about 1000 times. When we asked her to put them away she said “I don’t understand why I have to do it”, claiming that someone else can, when it’s not even our dish or we didn’t use it. Lastly, she has very loud sex just about every night and her boyfriend literally lives with us but of course, doesn’t pay rent.”
3. Brown OutÂ
Campus:Â Cal State, Long Beach
Gender:Â Female
Story:Â
“THIS B*TCH SHIT IN THE SHOWER!?!?!? AT 7 IN THE MORNING.”
4. The Ick
Campus:Â Prefer not to say to protect roommate’s Identity.Â
Gender:Â Male
Story:Â
“Let me preface this by saying I loved the guy himself. He was an amazing guy personality wise. BUT when it came to cleanliness he was awful. So our rule was his side of the dorm room was his and he was to maintain it and vice versa for my side. Now of course I’m not perfect and I was a little messy here and there but on the whole I kept my side as clean as possible. With his side, however, it was a disaster. Why was it a disaster one may ask? Domino’s Pizza. Yep, the pizza place caused arguably the biggest mess I’ve seen. This guy would order multiple pizzas a week and just leave the boxes in his room. The piles would get extremely tall. I kept asking him and he would shrug his shoulders and never do so. It got to the point where his younger sister had to come over and clean it with him because he wasn’t self motivated to do so. Frankly it was embarrassing to watch them clean. The older brother needs to set the example and the fact that he had to be bossed around by her like she was his mom was really sad to be honest. In that respect he seemed like a child. It never really got cleaned until the end of the semester (the end of our time living there). I’ve never been a clean freak but this was my breaking point. It was absolutely disgusting. My suggestion to new dorm students is to make rules about cleaning clear with your roommate to avoid what I had to deal with.”
5. Mama’s BoyÂ
Campus:Â Unviersity of Hawaii, Manoa
Gender:Â FemaleÂ
Story:Â
“My roommate had such unhygienic tendencies my other roommate and I told our landlord we would have to move out if this guy didn’t get kicked out. Some of the highlights included leaving actual dookie (poop) on the toilet SEAT, blood splatters all over the bathroom counter, wiping the sweat from his face on our community kitchen dish towel, breaking COVID quarantine, sp**m inside the toilet, kicked a hole in our front door bc he forgot his key and was locked out, used his bare hands to grab ice from the ice bin (we literally have a dispenser), wouldn’t wash his dishes and would just rinse them off with water, leave coffee in the pot for days and continue to drink it, start laundry at 1am, and take showers over an hour long. When asking him to not dig his hands into the ice, he sent a CDC article about the safety of the temperature of the ice and how it was okay to do so. To top it off, he moved here and had to quarantine for COVID, then developed a cough during it and it was happening everyday. I asked him if he would be able to get tested because my mom was elderly and I had to take her to get surgery. He told me that he would and then blocked my number. Then told me it wasn’t his problem.”
6. The Toilet Seat TerroristÂ
Campus:Â University of Hawaii, Manoa
Gender:Â MaleÂ
Story:Â
“Doesn’t know how to flush a toilet. Most trifling award for sure.”
7. Edward Scissorhands
Campus:Â Sacramento State
Gender:Â MaleÂ
Story:Â
“My roommate cut all the guys in our dorms’ hair, in our room. Imagine coming in from the shower with damp feet and all the little hairs the vacuum didn’t pick up sticking to your skin. ?”
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Please submit more! Send to everyone you know!Â