Heart Break Addition

As by the title, you can probably assume what this article is about. 

This is to all of the girls who have hearts that cannot be tamed.

Sometimes people are brought into our lives to give us really awakening realizations on things we have really been messing up on. 

I am currently 1 day out of a relationship that I would have let last my whole life had the past week not occurred. This one did it for me. 

I saw this quote on Tik Tok (yes, Tik Tok), who I wish I could give more credit to the author.. She wrote this, 

 “I will never not be a safe space for broken boys who learn all their lessons with me before finding the girls that they were actually made to love. I’m tired.”

This has been relevant for me, in all of my relationships in my life. Whether they are with their person now or are still waiting, I have always been the one girl that makes them change their behavior when that could have been the one thing that saved us. 

It has come to this point in my life where I am realizing I cannot blame the broken boy for the downfall. I saw all the signs, but I always feel like I can change them. No idea where that ideology came from, but I subconsciously pursue it in every relationship I enter. I cannot blame the broken boy, because I stayed, and that, too, shows I am broken. Now, take that word, broken, with a grain of salt. Because I don’t believe I am broken, I am whole on my own. But I have no idea what loving myself looks like in a relationship. I think I might have an idea now. No one can break you but yourself. You can take that power back, because though I have cried so much, I know that I will do better for myself. I am eternally grateful for that individual. But having an untamed heart can break you. 

Sometimes your biggest losses end up introducing you to your biggest gains.

As you grow up, you learn that taking responsibility for your actions is a lot easier than when you were younger. It’s time for me to start taking accountability instead of blaming another imperfect human in this imperfect world. I have allowed these things to happen. I can’t blame them anymore. I need to do better for myself, I want to do better for myself.

I think the biggest lesson for me in this whole experience in an imperfect world, for only 20 years, has been that it is okay to let people go if they do not help you grow. I have always thought of myself as an evolving narrative. If you do not want to evolve with me, then I will let you be. 

One sheer moment of attention brought a downfall. You CHOOSE to love others. And you can choose to not. I loved this person, with every ounce of my body, my spirit, my universe, because my heart cannot be tamed. 

I love fiercely, like I know most of you do.

As a woman, we are literally made to nurture, It is second nature to us. But with that comes consequences. Your heart is so big, but your self worth needs to be bigger. Because if we keep going out and loving fiercely to people who do not know how to love that way back, you will get tired. You will get drained, and in the end it won’t be worth it for you. 

“You deserve the world, x2.” Don’t ever let someone convince you that you don’t.

If you have been broken before, hear this,

When glass breaks, it shatters. And shattered glass makes room for the light to come in. 

Have courage, and never stop loving. 

WIth love, Jaclyn

• self worth