Sometimes, you just need something that you can count on, and for me, the occasional date with myself is that thing. Taking myself on a date never fails to make me feel good, unlike dates with other people which can go all kinds of ways.
Just to set the scene, picture the beach at sunset. Romantic, right? And on that beach is a girl, sitting by herself, enjoying a smoothie and poke bowl. After the sun goes down, she walks to a nearby bookstore, treats herself to a new novel she’s been looking at, and calls it a night. Some call it self-care, I call it a date night.
Taking yourself on a little date doesn’t have to be a sad affair. On the contrary, it can be the best night of the week. And it isn’t an institution just for the single either. Although I’m single now, in past relationships date night for one was how I claimed some of my independence. Besides, you and your S.O. don’t always share all the same interests, and sometimes treating yourself to something you love by yourself can be a good thing.
Another positive aspect of spending time with one’s self is getting to know and be comfortable with the person that you are alone. Since the pandemic, spending time alone has been a part of life, one that many people are finding the most difficult to deal with. Being alone isn’t always comfortable, but taking yourself out on a nice date can be a nice lesson in loving and respecting yourself, even for your flaws.
When I spend this precious time on my own, I like to reflect on my week and myself. I think of the things I accomplished that I’m proud of, and the things that I still need to get around to. I applaud myself for sticking to healthy meals, and I give myself a cheeky little grin for the sugar cookie I’m going to sneak later to finish off the night. People forget that the way you think of yourself matters too, and it impacts the way that others think of you. I use date night as a time to cultivate my self-confidence, outside of the recognition I get from others.
In many ways, being comfortable being alone, let alone happy being alone, is the most difficult leap to make. Especially in a place like Hawaii, where you seem to constantly be surrounded by beautiful people in love. But learning to love who you are when you’re alone is one of the most powerful steps you can take on your journey to recognizing your self-worth.
So next time you have the chance, take yourself out on a date. I promise you won’t regret it. Whatever the ideal date looks like for you, whether it’s petting dogs at the humane society, surfing, or eating one of your favorite meals, take yourself out and observe your happiness in doing that thing. Allow yourself to smile for no one’s benefit other than your own. I promise, no matter if you’ve been dating the same person for years, or if you don’t have any relationships on the horizon, the relationship you have with yourself is always the most important, and taking yourself on a date will help you discover and cultivate it. Let yourself be free to be happy in your own little world, once you find yourself feeling comfortable there, you won’t regret it.
In signing off, I have a challenge for you: if you choose to accept a date with yourself, unplug your headphones, and listen to the world around you and the world inside you too. It’s worth it.