Introducing Class Clown, Nick Keeley

Name: Nick Keeley

Age: 19

Hometown: Freemont, California

Major: Marketing

Likes: Going to the beach, listening to music, and social gatherings

Dislikes: Sammi’s interviews, pop quizzes, and homework (homework sucks)

Relationship status: Single

When entering Nick Keeley’s Noelani apartment, you can expect to be greeted with lit candles and women – nothing out of ordinary for the wildly popular sophomore. He knows it too, saying with a cool and calm exterior, “I have no competition.” It’s easy to see why the girls and guys of UH love him, and if you haven’t met the funny dude yet, you’ll soon learn why we are all on Team Keeley. 

Why did you choose Hawaii?

It’s different from home, and I’m getting an experience I probably wouldn’t get anywhere else.

We heard you’re pretty funny, give us a joke.

Well f@#$, I don’t know if I know a joke, I’m just hilarious in general.

How do you like to approach the ladies?

Drunk. With a simple greeting.

Why did you cut your hair, and do you think it’s going to do anything for you?

Honestly, it kept getting in my eyes, especially when I was in the water at the beach. I don’t know what it’s going to do for me… make me more aerodynamic.

Who is your #WCW? #MCM?

Miley Cyrus and Dylan Reeves.

You’re notorious for parties, what’s the craziest experience you’ve had?

Halloween of freshman year, a couple friends and I went to Margaritaville around midnight, and our goal was to get elderly women to buy us drinks. When I’m talking to this 50 year old lady, I snap into it, pause mid-sentence and walk away.

I walk up to my friends and they’re like “jump in the pool,”  and I was like “I’m not doing it alone!” So, I walk up to this dude and ask if he wants to jump in the pool, and he turns to me and says, “Sir, I’m a security guard here, I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.”

Then, I went back to my friends, gave them my phone, said f@#$ it, and jumped into the pool. My friends told me to run, and that there were cops at the bar. I lost one of my flip-flops coming out of the pool, though. They [the cops] chased us through Waikiki and I only had one shoe on, but they didn’t catch me and I got my shoe back!

What dinosaur would you be and why?

A Tyrannosaurus Rex because I’m cuddly. 

If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Probably burritos.

What are you scared of?

I don’t like airplanes or being thousands of feet up in the air; I don’t like heights.

What did you learn this week?

Appreciate who you have here because people get transferred left and right.

What is something no one knows about you?

I almost didn’t check the WUE box on my application and if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here.