In room 211 of the Queen Liliuokalani Center for Student Services, every day is a small step toward a future free of domestic violence.
In 2002, a grant from the US Department of Justice was awarded to the University of Hawaii to raise awareness on domestic violence. One of the biggest goals of PAU, according to coordinator, Leslie Cabingabang, “is to assure victim-centered services and perpetrator accountability.” Cabingabang is also in charge of the Sex Assault Task Force, which meets monthly to review policies relating to instances of violence on campus.
According to the 2013 Annual Security and Fire Safety Report, the last school year at Manoa recorded 11 on-campus sex offenses, nine offenses within the dorms, two within a non-campus building, and two on public property. The numbers seem small on the grand scale of the issue—there is an average of 237,868 rape and sexual assault victims age 12 or older every year in the world—but the main issue lies within the crimes being committed, rather than numbers. These offenses are why PAU provides training related to stalking, sexual assault, and relationship violence.
PAU Violence works closely with the student body to get the domestic violence message out. An effective way of reaching students is through informational booths at Campus Center, or “tabling.” At a PAU table, students can choose to grab flyers, ask questions, or immerse themselves in activities like creating slogans for shirts.
Aside from these booths, PAU Violence hosts several events every year. On Monday, Nov. 18, 2013, a self-defense workshop was held for women and men. The event was hosted by the famous, jiu-jitsu Gracie Academy, and techniques were taught to defend oneself from a perpetrator.
During the month of November, a display in Hamilton library called “Empty Place at the Table,” was set up for students to view. The display was another visual representation of an abused person—this time ending in death.
“It’s very sad, but it’s powerful because it hits home for people,” Cabingabang says. “Not that we want people to be upset or sad about it, but just to recognize that this is the reality.”
For Sexual Assault Awareness Month in April, flags are placed around campus to represent the numbers of sexually assaulted women and men in a year.
“We plant close to three thousand flags in the ground,” Cabingabang says. One in every four women and one in every seven men has been sexually assaulted, but people do not necessarily understand those numbers until they see them outside of a statistic.
“Denim Day,” will also be held in April to spread awareness of sexual assault victims. The day is an international movement that started in 1992 when an Italian woman went to court for her rape case. Instead of finding justice, the court ruled her jeans too tight—to the point where she supposedly would have had to help the rapist take them off—making the sex consensual. “How could you ever say that about a situation like hers?” Asks Kaelani Kubina, a PAU Practicum student. Since that day, women have worn jeans in protest against unfair rulings in the court system.
Because this case was 21 years ago, it would be logical to assume the government has made monumental steps in stopping domestic violence. However, this may not be the case. Malia Kaio, another PAU practicum student, believes the government is not doing a good job. “Socially constructed, it [the government] is not to protect the women and children; I do not think there are enough policies in place to protect.” Kaio says.
The issue has seen some advancement since 1992, but “some” is not enough, according to Kaio.
In order to advance domestic violence policies, Kaio believes the government needs to start with its gender bias problem. “Women are not the dominant race,” she says, “If I give you enough power to rise as an equal as me, then I lose all my power.”
Along with the bias, there are not a lot of resources to continue mandating against domestic violence. PAU is not an institutionalized organization, and it is funded through outside sources—making it difficult to continue fighting for the cause.
In terms of governmental policies, there have been more attempts in recent years to try and put protocols in place, but lack of funds have made it difficult to do so—especially on college campuses. “We don’t have the infrastructure to support them [the policies],” Says Jennifer Barnett, PAU Co-coordinator. “Yes, this is a priority, but are you going to give us help?” Barnett’s question to the government raises concerns for many domestic violence programs that also rely on outside funding.
“It comes to a point where there is only so much a non-profit organization can do,” Kubina says. “It’s really up to the higher people to make actual changes.”
PAU also believes society plays a huge role in advocating for victims. Often times, the general public does not understand a victim’s story and will blame the victim for what happened. It is hard to create policies if people do not share the same mindset as the advocates.
For instance, the infamous case of Daisy Coleman that took place early 2012. Coleman went to court for a rape case, blaming a football player of her high school, Matt, for sexually assaulting her and leaving her for dead in the snow. Instead of finding justice, Coleman received backlash from her hometown and the media. She was kicked off of the cheerleading team because she was “asking for it.”
“On Twitter and Facebook, I was called a skank and a liar and people encouraged me to kill myself. Twice, I did try to take my own life,” writes Coleman on a blog post featured on the PAU Facebook page.
Coleman’s case is just one out of many. Numerous other young women and men kill themselves because of backlash from domestic violence cases. According to the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network website, victims of sexual assault are four times more likely to contemplate suicide.
As a result, the best way out of an abusive relationship is to come up with an escape plan. It takes an abused person an average of seven to nine attempts to successfully leave an abusive relationship.
PAU works closely with an abused victim to ensure they have a safe escape. “Leaving in the middle of the night might be safest for one person, and leaving in the middle of the day might be better for one person; it is survivor centered because they know their abuser the best,” Cabingabang says. Sometimes, “leaving isn’t always the answer.”
“There is no way to tell somebody to leave,” Kaio states. The best thing to do is to offer victims help. There are so many factors in an abusive relationship, like children, funds, and safety — simply telling the victim to leave is not always the best course of action. Often, leaving may be the most dangerous way out of the relationship. Unfortunately, this concept is hard for many to grasp, and the blame for abuse gets further placed on the victim when he or she stays.
“Why isn’t our focus on the person causing the chaos and drama?” Kaio asks.
Often, there are many signs someone is going to be abusive. If your friends notice some red flags, you may want to reconsider the relationship.
Cabingabang says it is best to first look at the signs of a good relationship. Map out reasons why a certain person is good or what makes the relationship good, rather than the negatives. “Students are quicker to answer red flag questions, rather than what’s in a healthy relationship.” Cabingabang says. If there are no good aspects of the relationship, then that is the biggest sign of all.
However, the abuser may not show any signs of being abusive, and a common myth is that he or she will be constantly angry. However, this is not always the case. “Anger is an emotion all of us have; it’s all about power and control.” Cabingabang explains.
Other sexual assault myths include the idea that men cannot be abused or sexually assaulted, drugs are the cause of domestic violence, and abuse only happens with poor and uneducated people. Abuse happens across all social economic statuses, and across all education levels.
“One of our biggest goals is to help change people’s mindsets so we don’t have survivors being blamed, or survivors having to prove how much they were being abused, or to prove they were actually being assaulted.” Cabingabang says.
Reading a simple PAU pamphlet or browsing the Facebook page are a few ways PAU is educating and changing mindsets. Simply knowing of the issue is one step in a domestic violence-free future.
PAU Violence is located within the Women’s Center in the Queen Liliuokalani building. For more information, PAU can be reached at uhmwomen@hawaii.edu, pauvaw@hawaii.edu, or by phone at 956-8059.