Self-care is such a buzzword these days. I feel like all of 2020 has been filled with people who are reminding me to self-care, prioritize myself, or do something for me. I see suggestions to take a bubble bath, do a facial, eat a healthy dinner, or do yoga.
Now if you’re anything like me, after reading about all the things I should be doing for myself in a day to self-care, you might be thinking, “For something that’s supposed to be about me-time, it all sounds awfully stressful.” Sometimes we just have to accept that it’s too hard to expect to self-care every day, especially if it’s something big like a healthy dinner or a full body flow yoga routine. I’m here to tell you that nobody is saying that self-care needs to be a big deal, especially when Election 2020 has you feeling like just getting out of bed, putting on a new pair of yoga pants, and going to your Zoom lecture is an accomplishment. Here’s a few simple things I’m doing for self-care while waiting for those last votes to be counted in the key battleground states.
1. My morning coffee is sacred
Now this is something I’ve been doing for years now and wouldn’t have thought to consider self-care until recently, but if any part of my day could be called “me time,” it’s coffee time. Now any drink can be your sacred morning drink. Whether you like tea, orange juice, water, a salted caramel triple mocha soymilk latte, or steaming hot bitter black coffee like me: it’s all fair game. But what makes that bitter black coffee so special to me? It’s taking the time to smell it as it brews, feel the steam waft into my face as it cools for drinking, and enjoying my favorite flavor in the world as the silky beverage rolls down my throat and warms me from the inside out. This moment in the morning is for me to wake up, to think of the flashes of color that remain from my dreams the night before, and to get myself ready for the things I have to do that day by starting my morning thinking of something positive. It’s worth waking up a little early for this extra time to yourself before you have to start doing those things you need to do, and you know what? It’s self-care! It may not get your qi flowing as well as some other morning routines, nor does it get endorphins pumping or detox your stomach, but what it does do is detox your mind. And the best part is that sacred morning time can always fit into your schedule. Whether coffee-time gets five minutes, thirty minutes, or a full hour of my morning I always feel better having taken that little bit of time to just appreciate something simple that makes me happy.
2. I eat three meals a day
Now I know what you’re thinking: “What’s so special about breakfast, lunch, and dinner?” Something about having a routine that I can count on makes me feel much more stable during a time like this election season when I feel completely out of control. Waking up and dunking my Belvita biscuits into my coffee is a grounding experience for me, and I’d like to think that prioritizing yourself by prioritizing your meals will ground you too. Now when I say three meals a day, it’s nothing fancy most days. Usually my meals involve ramen noodles, assorted fruits, sandwiches, or anything else that can be ready to eat in less than ten minutes. But just because it’s not something you put a lot of thought into, doesn’t mean that it’s not still self-care. And let’s be real, usually that three cheese grilled cheese sandwich you’ve been craving or the takeout that you can’t take your mind off of feels a lot more like self-care than a superfood quinoa salad does. If planning your meals in advance or thinking about the fats-to-proteins-to-carbs ratio of everything on your plate stresses you out, then it’s not self-care. But eating three meals a day that satisfy you and that you derive enjoyment from somehow, is. If you feel joy when you pound out that kale salad, or when you cook a fancy dish for your friends, or when that poached egg you added to your instant ramen comes out perfectly runny then you seize that moment and call it what it is: self-care!
3. I found a busy hand hobby
I’ve been crocheting since my senior year of high school, but never has the skill been more meaningful to me than it has been since the pandemic. I moved through crochet project after crochet project, generating some things I’m very proud of and never imagined I’d be able to make. But during the election, I knew if my hands weren’t busy with something, they’d be refreshing the Apple News app over and over again only to be disappointed. So, I channeled all my anxiety and obsessive tendencies through my hands, down my crochet hook, and into a market bag I completed in record time: only two days. Keeping my hands busy has been one of the most important self-care things I’ve done since the election started.
Although crochet might be a more unusual hobby, I’d be surprised if there’s somebody reading this who doesn’t have a busy hand hobby of some kind. Maybe it’s playing video games, playing an instrument, turning the pages of your book, journaling, or coloring a coloring page, but whatever it is making time for it to keep you away from a compulsive stress-related habit is self-care. In fact, making time for any type of hobby even during times of low stress is self-care. Self-care doesn’t have to be something you make extra time to fit in, you can identify what is self-care for you in the things that you’re already doing.
4. I identified my support group so we can help each other
This election has been a wild ride that for me started in the primaries when I voted for a candidate who dropped out of the race the day after I mailed in my ballot, and it has only grown more stressful since then. With everything slowing down at the USPS, I made sure to request my absentee ballot from Virginia in early September, and I thought for sure it had been lost or that I wasn’t going to get it in time when it hadn’t arrived a month later. But finally, it arrived and I cast my vote for Joe and some down ballot progressives and mailed it back the very next day: three weeks before the election. And as I write this on Nov. 5th, two days after the day I’ve been thinking about since 2016: we still don’t know a thing.
But thankfully, I have an amazing support group of friends, family, and fellow advocates who have been a huge help through this time where I feel like only one thing is on my mind. Maybe send a meme to a group of friends you know will laugh? Or you can find a group of confidants who you know you can rant to, and that will return your rant to you in equal force. These have been the moments that have kept me smiling even through all my doubt and fear and it is the most important type of self-care I have in my arsenal. So I encourage you to find that group that can help you unload and that will remind you that you are not alone, that way you can all self-care together.
I hope this article has relieved some of the pressure of your idea of self-care and given you some ideas of how you can prioritize your mental health through self-care that is accessible to you, because THAT really is self-care.