Breakups: the absolute worst rollercoaster of emotion. You’re fine and thriving one second (#hotgirlsummer) then anxious and gloomy the next. I’m not exactly sure if I’m qualified enough, but here are some of my tips on how to repair yourself when going through a split.
We’ll start out at the beginning:
1. Allow Yourself To Be Sad
Honestly, it feels so good to cry and sometimes you have to let it out. Do not try to put on the front of “I’m fine!! Let’s just ignore this big issue that will linger around me for a couple months!!” Trust me, it never ends well. You have every right to be upset, heartbreaks f*cking hurt. I will say, limit your sadness- give yourself like a week of full cries, sad songs, love movies, dark chocolate, and red wine.
2. Stay Off Social Media
During my first break up, my mom forced me to delete my Instagram, Snapchat, and Twitter (tragic, I know) but it helped drastically. Not having social media during this time is great because you won’t be watching stories of your ex or worse seeing them on someone else’s. This is also just healthy for your mental health in general so I strongly suggest giving this one a try.
3. Journal
I cannot tell you how much this tip helps me. Anything that you are feeling- write it down. Journaling does not have to be deep, journal about the dog you passed on the street today, how your coffee was hot & you burnt your tongue and now you’re annoyed, literally anything. It gets all of these clouded thoughts out of your head and onto a sheet of paper which makes more room for focusing on YOU.
4. Take Care of Your Mental Health
This is a daily life thing you should be doing anyways but especially when heartbroken. The app Headspace is probably the best thing I have discovered (not sponsored but should be). Take 10 minutes out of your day to meditate, ground yourself and have a mental reset. Working out is also essential since it releases endorphins which triggers positive feelings mentally and physically. I prefer yoga since it’s relaxing & it just feels good to stretch it out.
5. Clean
I don’t know if this is just a me thing but cleaning thoroughly makes me happy. Clean around your house, your room, mirrors, bathrooms, anything, and everything. (Also don’t forget to clean out the rest of the toxic people in your life too!) Try to donate and throw away as much as possible, there is no sense of holding onto things that just don’t have meaning in your life anymore (shout out Marie Kondo, ily girl).
Rearrange!!! This is dramatic but important (kinda like me ;)) Try to not do anything you and your ex did together until you’re ready. Change needs to be seen as a good thing, it is a new beginning & a time to reinvent yourself. Try a new hairstyle you’ve been eyeballing, or change your aesthetic, clothes, room decor, work/ class schedule- just change it all! While impulse throwing out your old life, don’t forget to stay structured, scheduled and organized:)
After isolating yourself & being sad for a bit we move onto the fun part of breakups:
6. Surround Yourself With People
Of course, be picky on who you choose to hang out with but you need to be around crowds. Get out there and start forming new friendships with people you never thought you would. If that seems scary to you, start slow. Instead of cocooning yourself in your room all day, go sit on your couch and binge watch Love Island with your roommates. Loneliness will be the thing that really gets ya during this time so just the presence of the right people is comforting enough to put a smile on your face.
Being smothered in love by your best friends shows you that there is more than love from a serious relationship. Always take the time to check in with yourself and be appreciative of the ones who are there for you when times are tough. They just want the best for you and want you to rediscover yourself to be happy again. As Ed Sheeran once said, “loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes …… loving can heal, loving can mend your soul”.
7. Say Yes to Everything
After a breakup, you have to start living for you again. Making your own decisions without thinking if your significant other would approve or not. It’s important to see who constantly invites you to do things even if its minor. So say yes! Yes to everything you want to do!! Cute boy invites you camping?? GO. Roomies wanna go to brunch & hit on the server?? GO. Creating memories and forming stronger bonds with everyone you’re around is major key. The only person stopping you now is you!
On the completely other hand, don’t be afraid to say no to things. If you really do not want to go hang out with someone, don’t. You don’t have to reply to anyone if you don’t want to, it’s all about you! Put your wants and needs first and solely focus on yourself.
With that being said you also have to reciprocate the message and invite your friends to do things to. The best dates are the ones with friends because you all have very similar interest and they’re usually always down for cute cafe dates.
Hopefully, that kinda helps in a way. Just do you sis!! Happy breakup szn & i hope you start thriving soon!! Soak up the single life for as long as you can! If you get waves of sadness, throw some badgalriri on, dance around and sing your little heart out!!
Ohhhh and
p.s. constantly remind yourself of your worth and how you do deserve better.