Let me start this off by saying that I was confused about the difference between race and ethnicity before I entered college. I guess I always thought they were the same thing or very close to the same thing. After participating in countless diversity trainings, taking some classes on racism, joining my schoolâs Polynesian student group, and just learning more about my own ethnicity, I think Iâve started to understand the concepts a little better.
My understanding is that race is very narrow and based on a personâs biology. According to the US Census Bureau, the five categories of race are American Indian or Alaska Native, Asian, Black or African American, Native Hawaiian or Other Pacific Islander, and White.
So what is ethnicity then? Iâve understood ethnicity as something more broad than race and based on someoneâs cultural identity. It can be based on things like the language you speak or your nationality. For example, if someoneâs race is Asian, but their nationality is Italian and they speak Italian, their ethnicity might be Italian. To me, ethnicity seems to be something acquired and learned over time, rather than assigned at birth.
I know that my race is of Asian, Native Hawaiian or Other Pacific Islander (NHOPI), and of White descent, but I do not identify with all of these as ethnicities. In fact, thereâs been times where I feel that I donât belong to any of these ethnicities. I was born in HawaiÊ»i but moved to the mainland as a baby. Then I was born and raised in a predominantly White and Conservative area. I actually thought I was just White until about second grade when kids started giving me âAsianâ eyes, making fun of my last name, and being grossed out by my musubi lunches. I donât think this hurt my feelings at the time, but it made me wonder why I was being singled out and it made me realize I was different. Throughout my high school years, I would just tell people my ethnicity was Japanese and Native Hawaiian just because those were my races and I didnât know what else to say.
I decided to attend a university where ~26% of the students identify as Asian (race) and ~40% of the students identify as White. The city I grew up in only had 2% of people that identified as Asian, so this was somewhat of a (good) cultural shock to me. I saw people that looked like me, plus many of them also identified with a specific type of Asian ethnicity as well. After meeting several friends who identified with some kind of Asian ethnicity, I realized that I had no idea what foods they were talking about, the cultural practices they were talking about, nor did I speak any other language than English. This is when I really felt that I didnât belong to the Asian ethnicity. My grandmother and mother were immigrants from Japan, yet I felt like I knew nothing about Japanese food, culture, or language. Why didnât my mom teach me these things when I was young? Now I feel like I donât belong nor do I feel like I can call myself Japanese after meeting people that really have a Japanese ethnicity.
So now that I donât feel like I can identify with the Japanese ethnicity, can I identify with the Native Hawaiian ethnicity? I decided to take up Ê»Ćlelo HawaiÊ»i (Native Hawaiian language) as well as join my schoolâs Polynesian Student Alliance. I felt like the values and few cultural practices I learned growing up aligned with these groups. However, I still felt less âPolynesianâ than the other students. Many of the students had Polynesian tattoos, could speak in their native language, and had been studying their Polynesian history for years. This is when I gave up and felt like I didnât belong anywhere.
Donât get my wrong, learning about these cultures and meeting people of the same race or ethnic background in college was amazing and eye-opening; I just felt like I wasnât up to par with them and didnât want to feel like I was trying to be someone I wasnât.
After graduating college and entering my Masterâs Program at the University of HawaiÊ»i at MÄnoa is when I really understood where I stand with my ethnicity. My mentor, who is also Japanese and Native Hawaiian, explained to me that you do not need to check off all these boxes to be an ethnicity, nor is there someone accepting you into the ethnicity. You are the ethnicity because of how you feel about that culture, not because you compare to others in the ethnicity. This advice stuck with me and if you are in the same boat, you can do the following things that have helped me better align and feel accepted with my ethnicities:
-
Start actively learning about the cultures (ex. History, cultural practices, etc.) or start to learning the language of the people
-
Protecting and advocating for these communities
-
Being more open minded and accepting of yourself