If you’re anything like me, you start your day writing a to-do list. This is something that I’ve been doing for years, being this regular person who can’t live without a plan. Planning has worked really well for me for a long time. It made space in my mind and alleviated the stress of the upcoming day. I’ve had a plan for every occasion, be it a usual day or a short trip. But recently I’ve noticed a change that I was first reluctant to acknowledge – I am my most productive self when I have no plan at all.
I began to struggle with my daily planning when I realized that my to-dos were not working for me but had me working for them. I would skip meals and walks, neglect rest and sleep to have all things done, through thick and thin. I stopped listening to myself and ignored my own rhythm, felt intense most of the time and surely wasn’t productive. With time, the very process of planning turned into a major source of stress. Some things got cancelled and I had to cross them out. Some things had to be postponed because of circumstances out of my control. Some days I just didn’t feel well enough to do all the planned things. So, I frequently ended up with a bunch of unchecked tasks and a messy planner, quite disappointed in myself. It came to the point where I started to feel anxious writing my to-dos in the morning and resented the day before it even started.
Despite the complications in our relationship, planning has been a good friend of mine for many years. That’s why it was difficult to admit its shortcomings and even more difficult to let go of it. I couldn’t imagine going through my day without direction and believed that planning was my most reliable guide. Without it, I started flowing through my days. And it was exactly what I needed.
The only planning I had left was marking my meetings, appointments and deadlines on my phone calendar. Other than that, I was going with the flow of the day and listened to my inner guide. I asked myself a few questions. What do I feel like doing first? Do I really need to do this now? Am I tired or hungry? Is it time to call it a day? Treating myself with kindness and attention had an excellent result. I spent less time procrastinating, was more excited about work I was doing and felt less tired by the end of the day. I also started noticing that every day was different for me. Some days I would be energized and ready to take on the world. Some days I would struggle through with doing anything and be extremely slow. And that’s fine too. The combination of high and low days showed me the importance of resting daily and making time for things that recharged me. Short walk between classes. Hearty meal for dinner. Going to bed early. Small steps to the balanced fulfilling life.
Letting myself go with the day’s flow instead of planning every hour in advance was liberating. It helped me realize that not all things have to be done and not everything can be planned. At the end of the day, it’s not about checking all your daily to-dos. It’s about checking in with yourself as you go through your day.