Not so long ago, it was given that if you were a woman your main goal in life would be to have a family and then dedicate the rest of your life for taking care of your husband and children. Nowadays those days are long gone, thanks to those women who were willing to fight for their and other women’s right to work outside home and do what they wanted with their lives. The pressure of doing exactly what you’re expected to do has been taken from our shoulders – or has it really? Reading women’s magazines these days it seems that the pressure of having 1,8 kids, a doctor husband and a house in the countryside has only been replaced by new pressures. And there are more of them than ever before.
Yes, nowadays it is acceptable for women to work outside home. Actually, it is more than acceptable, it is expected. Of course you will get yourself a career. Of course it’s going to be something magnificent, creative, something where you can express yourself and climb the ladder at the same time. What no one tells you, however, is that it will most likely also be exhausting. You will be expected to work your butt off to impress your bosses, finish your work in time and to show everyone what you’re made of. And most importantly, to prove that you’re better than the thousands of other women who are willing to take your place at any moment. That could still be manageable if it was the only thing you would focus on. But instead of being a career girl it is still, in the 21st century, expected that at some point you will set up a family. Even though there are more and more career-oriented women in the world than ever, being a middle-aged woman with no children is still an oddity to many people. So start preparing to juggle between school runs and career moves.
Then, when you are done with all this, get ready for you productive time off! Naturally, it is not acceptable to look like you’ve just stayed up all night calming down the baby or finishing up work, even if that’s exactly what you have been doing. Instead, head for an early morning gym session to maintain a body as hot as all those magazine cover stars have. It is also probably a good idea to start having Botox already in your twenties, just to be prepared and to prevent any signs of age a few years from now.
Then, head home to cook some avocado pasta, even if it doesn’t really go well together with your new diet made by your PT. You can always train harder tomorrow to burn it off. Home-made ice cream with jam made with berries that you picked from your garden makes a good dessert. Also, start preparing for Christmas by buying card materials (obviously you’re going to make your own Christmas cards!) and some cute weaving yarns so you can make all your loved ones wool socks for presents. Self-made is, after all, so much more personal than store-bought and staying home doing homely things is very trendy right now. How unfortunate, that it is so difficult to combine with your glossy career…
It is a great thing that women can nowadays “have it all” and do so many things that we might not have been able to do a while ago. But “having it all” can also be very difficult as many of the expectations there are for us are conflicting. It seems that at the same time that we got the opportunity to choose what we want to do we became unable to choose at all, instead trying to do everything. There is a dichotomy with what we should be like. First we should take the advantage of being able to do what men have always been able to do career-wise. But on the other hand, magazines are filled with homely things and baking blogs are more popular than ever. So how can we combine these two roles while at the same time making sure we look great all the time and never age? And still find time for our big group of close friends and that perfect relationship with “the one”? Unfortunately, many of us can’t and start feeling inadequate and not worthy since we can’t do what “everyone else” can. The pressure is on and it is hard to resist, which can lead to stress and anxiety and, in worst case scenarios, problems with physical and mental health.
Still, as far as we know, we only have one life and it is impossible to do everything and be everything during it. Sometimes choosing not to do something is inevitable to keep yourself from burning out and to actually be able to enjoy your life. Would you really be a failure if you had a great career but no boyfriend in sight? Or if your relationships flourished but you couldn’t find time to go to the gym every day? Don’t let the pressure of “having it all” weigh you down and prevent you from being happy and proud of what you already have. Instead, enjoy your life as it is without constantly feeling that it isn’t “enough”. Dare to be what you want to be – not what you’re expected to.