After many years of being told I should talk more, reinvent myself for the following school year, and allow myself the chance to start over as a less reserved person, I have come to terms that the way I function as an introvert will not change for any reason. It’s exactly who I am, and after years of thinking I could do something about it, I’ve realized that my voice is not going to any level it hasn’t been before. Â
There’s a small population of introverts. In one of my freshman classes of almost thirty, only five of us turned out to be introverts, by way of taking a personality test. With only a handful of us who are overpowered by the greater population of extroverts, there are a few misunderstandings about the way introverts are and think.
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1. We are not always angry or sad. Just because we have nothing to say and our face might not move doesn’t exactly mean we’re bored, angry, or upset. We have the same emotions as everyone else, we just might not show them.
2. We are aware we don’t talk much. Many people love to let me know I’m quiet. I’m not completely sure why, but thanks for the reminder.
3. Sometimes silence means we don’t feel the need to share our thoughts. We have just as much to say as everybody else. Not everything seems necessary to say and therefore we keep it to ourselves. If it is necessary, we’ll say it, and usually it’s pretty good, so listen. And if you think we’re trying to get a few words in, let us. Sometimes we need to be comfortable enough to make sure we feel like we’ll be heard and included.
4. Stop calling us “Silent But Deadly.” It’s old. Maybe switch up to something like “Quiet killer?” “Peaceful Poison?” “Masked Mute?” “Silent Shadow?” There are so many other options.
5. Stephen Hawkings said “The quietest people have the loudest minds.” When I was picking my senior quote, this was in the running to be published next to my name in my high school yearbook forever. Or at least it was until my mother pointed out that it would seem as if there were voices in my head. I can assure you, that there are no voices in our heads making us keep quiet. We’re just as crazy as everyone else. But we do think more than we speak. We have great ideas, and some interesting things to say.
6. We make up for our lack of voice in other areas–for some, me, it’s writing. When I realized that there was no changing how I would be seen, I accepted it. Writing has given me the voice that I’ve been looking for. Something tells me I wouldn’t strike up a conversation with someone about the misconceptions of introverts. So, this is my way of telling you about it.
7. We’re not delicate. I’ve noticed how I’m treated compared to others. People seem to walk on eggshells and are generally nicer than they are to the rest of the people in our group. We can joke around just as much as the next person and appreciate a challenge.
8. How many times do you think we’ve heard extroverts say, “You probably think we’re crazy”? Too many. And if we deny your thought of us thinking you’re insane, don’t say we’re lying. Being quiet doesn’t make us any more normal. As my mother always said, “normal” is just a setting on the dryer.
9. We have a lot of information that you don’t think we have. Our sixth sense is always picking up gossip. Everyone thinks that we are in our own little worlds, when in reality, we are listening to all your juicy secrets. I was always the one giving the news in my group of friends on what was happening in the personal lives of the rest of our high school.
10. We’re friendly and we can have conversations. Give us some time and a chance to warm up to you and we’ll be great friends. In middle school, I went entire school days without saying a word. Once high school came along, I found a group of friends who I was comfortable with and who liked my quietness, my one-liners, my frequent sarcasm, and they’re now my best friends. We can be more interesting than you might think.