caution: One DAY SPOILERS
I remember the days of picking sides between Conrad and Jeremiah after watching the Summer I Turned Pretty. Preceding them was the constant bickering between Ginny and Marcus in Ginny & Georgia. However, their teenage love will never compare to the connection between Emma Morley and Dexter Mayhew in One Day.
One Day perfectly displays what it looks like to be out of touch with your intuition.
Anastasia Manouvelos, Her Campus.
relationship dynamics in one day
In my eyes, Dexter constantly overlooked Emma’s extraordinary personality and his true feelings towards her. Throughout the series we watch Dexter hop from girl to girl, but it’s clear those connections never truly fulfill him. Each year on July 15th, Dexter has his hands around a new girls’ waist. Aside from Sylvie, the girls Dexter has by his side are his eye candy, but the relationships are fleeting.
Likewise, it’s clear Emma is never truly fulfilled in her long-term relationship with Mr. Comedian, Ian. Emma and Ian’s relationship is a good representation of what happens when you settle for someone. Emma is hesitant to get to know Ian when they first meet. If Ian was someone who met Emma’s standards, she would’ve been eager to pursue things with him from the start. Once their relationship became long-term, I was a bit shocked. It made me realize, “Oh, this isn’t someone she’s using to move on from Dexter”. I thought, “Maybe I misunderstood Emma”.
However, when Ian stopped by after their breakup, I realized that this relationship wasn’t beneficial for either of them. Emma hid it well, but it deeply bothered her that she was forced to provide for both of them. Additionally, her parents adored Ian, but didn’t have a strong presence in their own daughter’s life prior to her serious relationship. It was aggravating to watch her parents be exhilarated about the prospect of marriage and her long-term her boyfriend. Yet pay no mind to her love for writing.
dexter’s Feeling for emma
Whenever Dexter is with Emma, a different side of him arises. No other woman in his life, not even his own mother manages to bring out this side. For the majority of the series, Dexter puts up a front to others, he acts in the way he’s “expected” to, instead of being true to himself. However, when he’s around Emma he’s softer, he appears love-struck and it’s clear to the viewer that her place in his heart is sacred. His facade falls around her and his true feelings float to the top.
You can see it in his eyes in the way he looks at Emma. He looks at her as if she’s his whole world. No matter the time they’ve spent apart or the arguments they had, he always looks at her the same. As if she’s the only star in the sky.
Dexter and Emma have a seat reserved in each other’s hearts from the moment they meet. They even confess their feelings for each other during a night in Greece in 1991. Unfortunately, it still takes them years to pursue a romantic relationship with each other.
whose fault is it?
Fans are split 50/50 on why it took so long for Dexter and Emma to date. Many fans blame Dexter and believe he went back to Emma because he had exhausted all other options. Dexter felt abandoned by those around him after his divorce. Much alike the day in 1992 when Dexter calls Emma from a payphone. Dexter was at an extremely low point in is life and had no one there for him. Seeking a person to talk to, he goes to Emma in both instances.
Others believe, after their night in Greece it was up to the two of them to act upon what they both felt. That they’re both at fault for the things left unsaid for so long.
However, I truly believe they got off on the wrong foot. That Dexter lived an unhealthy life for a long time, that would’ve only stopped Emma from living hers. I believe Sylvie embodies what Dexter thought his “ideal” partner should be, but clearly, it was always Emma. Sylvie checked all the boxes on paper, but Emma truly lived in is heart.
I think Emma would’ve been proactive about pursuing a relationship with Dexter if they had met on better terms. I mean, the first night they met, they hooked up. In Greece, Dexter offered for them to be intimate with “no strings attached”. While Emma did enjoy her first night with him, it’s clear she takes dating very seriously. If Dexter would’ve been more serious about Emma in the beginning, I think she would’ve reciprocated. It’s clear Emma doesn’t want to be just another hook up. Although Emma had her insecurities with Dexter, she knew what she wanted and that was a serious relationship. Dexter never advocated for that until after his divorce.
While Dexter and Emma struggled to effectively communicate with one another, they also lived completely different lifestyles. Emma enjoyed the monotony of life. On the other hand, for many years Dexter loved living extravagantly, booked & busy. He enjoyed many other highs that consisted of many drugs and an array of alcohol. It wasn’t until Dexter was able to give up the high life, for sobriety that their two lifestyles aligned. Not to mention, Sylvie was the one who changed Dexter into a sober man. However, once Dexter and Emma finally get together, they’re able to live a peaceful, loving life with one another. I believe that the two could’ve gotten together sooner if it wasn’t for Dexter’s immaturity and spontaneous lifestyle.
dexter’s grief & DEath of emma
One of my favorite parts of One Day is, how Dexter is portrayed after the loss of Emma. The directors portrayed grief in such a raw and emotional way, it’s touching to watch. It was so accurate. I probably cried for the entirety of Episode 14, but I think for a show to make you cry so much just speaks volumes to how good it is. It was beautiful to watch Dexter become completely destroyed by Emma’s death, but then see him overcome his grief. It was amazing to see all those who loved Emma be there for Dexter. Even in her death, Emma still found a way to comfort Dexter, through the beautiful connections she made in her own life.
final thoughts
One Day is a beautiful series that truly touched my heart. I had my doubts in the beginning, but Molly Manners (One Day Director) proved me wrong. While Emma and Dexter’s story wasn’t perfect, the connection they shared was a beautiful one. It was amazing to watch the two of them grow into such different, yet compatible individuals.