Regardless of what you think of Ariana Grande, you should listen to “Thank U, Next.” The song is unique among break up releases because Grande doesn’t express hatred or anger towards any of her exes. Instead, she thanks them and then proclaims that her new focus is herself.
In lieu of this now-popularized outlook on past relationships, I sent out a survey to Her Campus Hofstra. The survey consisted of one request: In 1-2 sentences, write a thank you to an ex. This can be to anyone from a one-night stand to a middle school crush to a long term relationship.
Here is what Her Campus said:
“Thanks for literally never pressuring me when I wasn’t ready and being there when I was!”
“To the first person I ever loved, thanks for showing me how I shouldn’t be treated. I wish you all the best and I hope you’ve learned how to love yourself.”
“Thank you for being there while you could. While we didn’t end on the best terms, you were still my best friend, and you got me through one of the hardest friend breakups I’ve ever had to go through. I never got to tell you this, but that means more to me than you’ll ever know.”
“Thank you for those 6 years. I don’t regret anything.”
“Thank you for teaching me what it means to be in real relationship, with fights and all, and learning how to work through them.”
“We got together because of peer pressure and it was fun at first but then I realized I shouldn’t give into others desires. Thank you for teaching me that I should follow my own happiness instead of others.”
“Thanks for being an a** so I know how I should be treated by the right guy!”
“Thank you for showing me that people won’t wait for you in life to make decisions and to not run away from love next time.”
“Thanks for teaching me what I shouldn’t deal with, and for showing me what I do and do not deserve.”
“Thank you to my ex for bringing me out of my shell and showing me what dating should be! just because we weren’t meant to be together doesn’t mean i don’t value having you in my life at the time.”
“Thank you for showing me that you weren’t true love.”
“Thank you for showing me that I can’t be responsible for someone else’s happiness, it’ll only drag me down too. And now I’m stronger from it.”
“Wanted to say thank you to an ex that was never officially mine. Thank you for putting me in a position where I finally learned my self worth and have established that I’ll never need a guy to make me happy.”
“Thank you for giving me so many good firsts.”
“I want to thank my ex for helping me to learn to love myself as I am. I was having a rough time in my life, and he was there to make me feel like I worth it.”
“Thank you for teaching me how to love unconditionally.”
“Thank you for showing me that hearts heal and there is always someone better around the corner. I held a lot of resentment, but you were such a small blip in my bigger picture of life. Thank you for teaching me how to love and how to be loved, and then let that love go.”
“To all my casual hookups: thanks for allowing me to explore my sexuality and figure out what I like in bed.”
“I’ve had a lot of ex’s (99% awful) but only one who actually respected me and showed me what a healthy relationship should be like. He’s my best friend, I’ll always be thankful for his support. Thank u, next.”
“Thank you for loving me when I didn’t deserve you. Your support showed me how I should be treated.”
“Thank you for teaching me to prioritize my own happiness and letting me learn that I deserve better.”
“Thank you for helping me realize what I need to work on as a partner.”
“Thank you for letting me go. A flower can only grow when it’s watered and taken care of.”
“Thank you for teaching me to love myself and not settle for anything less than what I deserve. Thank you, next.”
Even though all of these answers are anonymous, they give insight into private aspects of people’s lives with overwhelming positivity. It’s pretty damn amazing to hear people talk so openly about relationships that ended.
To my Her Campus members, thank you. And to my exes, truly, thank you.