It’s not easy, but I have to live with it.
I’ve been dealing with it for…maybe about six years now, and some days I think that it’s going to get better, and other days I hit rock bottom and I feel like I’m never going to get out of this misery within myself.
I believe society has shaped this low self-esteem. Who needs to be thin, why that one zit will ruin your reputation, why being short is something to make fun of. Everything I see on myself, I point it out and make this big deal about it, when meanwhile, the people who were teasing me don’t actually care.
But not everyone believes what you do. I look at myself and am unwilling to accept positive feedback on myself, but people do give positive comments. Although I am grateful, I am too unfortunate to disagree with them, and I deny their compliments.
I am also at fault for the hypocritical movement of calling everyone “beautiful” and “special” when I can’t even see that in myself. I believe no one should feel hated, or ugly, or fate, or anything they shouldn’t have to believe in order to fit into society’s perfect image.
But this isn’t a cry for attention. I’m actually afraid of getting attention, but I want to be brave and do something that I truly believe will help others. I’m here to finally say something; to tell anyone facing the same troubles I am that one day, I hope you see that you should love yourself, just like I hope one day I notice that about myself.
This rollercoaster is a vicious cycle I have been living with, and I want that to change. Maybe one day, I’ll be able to love myself so that one day, I will accept the love of others, and that someone else will realize the same thing I realize about myself. One day, I hope for a better day.