Being from Delaware, we aren’t exactly known for our bagels. I’m not a New Yorker or a New Jersian (or is it New Jersier?). However, I do consider myself an avid bagel eater. Therefore, I know that I am 100%, if not more, qualified to write this article. After extensive research and countless amounts of carbs, I present you with this scientific study. Without further ado, here are the Hofstra bagels, ranked.
Einstein Brothers
The newest addition to Hofstra’s campus is such a trek if you’re not a business student. If I didn’t have a class in C.V. Starr (what’s up, Sports Marketing), I would never, and I repeat NEVER, walk all the way over to Einstein’s. But, for this research study, I did it and was on time for class. As I walked through the doors, I was met with an impossible decision: to choose just one bagel from 12 different options. You name it and the flavor was there: chocolate chip, sesame, cinnamon, and more. Since it was a breezy day outside, my brain yelled, “Fall!” Needless to say, I went with the pumpkin bagel. I’m a big pumpkin fan: pumpkin pie, pumpkin coffee, heck, even those little candy corns that are shaped like pumpkins. But, this bagel— I was not a fan. The walk over there is long enough, don’t disappoint yourself even more by eating a mediocre bagel.
Dunkin Donuts
Dunkin’ Donuts, which is trying to rebrand as just Dunkin’ for some odd and useless reason, is another new food joint on Hofstra’s campus, after taking over the Starbucks that was outside the School of Comm. At first, I was offended, but I do actually like Dunkin’ Donuts coffee better than Starbucks, so I quickly got over it. At Dunkin’, I ordered my usual: egg and cheese on a plain bagel. I believe that bagel places secretly save the better bagels for their breakfast sandwiches and I was proven right. My plain bagel was toasted perfectly. However, the wait for it was another story. It probably didn’t help that I went during common hour along with the rest of the student body. That’s my fault, not the establishment’s.
ABP
No matter the time or day, you can’t get a seat in ABP. It’s impossible. I walked in with the intention of getting a bagel and walked right back out. The place was popping, but I wasn’t prepared for it to be that popping. So, I popped back out the door. Sorry ABP, maybe next time!
Student Center & Bits
This may be surprising, but these two are the same exact bagel. Oh my god, shocking, right? Don’t be fooled by the tantalizing bagel bar that is set up at 7:30 in the morning and lasts only two hours. Most students don’t even realize that while they are sleeping there is an endless amount of bagels and cream cheese combinations available to them. Honestly, it’s not worth it. I also just don’t trust students with the toasters. I can’t remember a time when I walked into the Student Center and it didn’t smell like burnt bagel parts. With all that being said, I grabbed a plain bagel at a cool 11 a.m., so yeah, no bagel bar for me. The bagel was wrapped in plastic and I had a choice of cream cheese in a packet or rock hard butter. I went with the butter to switch things up. This bagel wasn’t horrible, but it’s nothing spectacular either. You have to play around with the toaster though because sometimes you have to toast your bagel twice and sometimes once is all you need. It’s all about science, but, in the morning, I just can’t be bothered.
Photo courtesy of Stefania Crudeli
So, the results are in. I calculated every vote (aka, only mine). Yes, I live on Long Island for the school year and have access to some of the best bagels around, but I don’t have a car, so I’m stuck on campus. Therefore, Hofstra’s best bagel around? Dunkin’ Donuts! Ding, ding, ding! Congratulations— there’s truly no prize, just my never-ending appreciation for your bagels. Well, actually I graduate in seven months, so my appreciation will end, but not in my heart.
With that, I conclude my scientific study. I would like to personally apologize to my grade school science teachers because I know that I did not use the scientific method correctly.