I wouldn’t say that in high school I was oblivious to how skinny I was, but I didn’t realize how skinny I actually was until I began strength training. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with being skinny, especially when you naturally have a fast metabolism like me. But looking back at pictures of myself from high school to now, I realize that I really had not obtained an accurate perspective on how beneficial and transformative the gym can be. My mindset has completely shifted since first stepping into the gym, and in better ways than I could have imagined. Although prior to the encouragement and support I received and needed in order to go I was incredibly fearful of the gym for a couple of reasons.
- I feared not doing a workout correctly, and not having proper gym etiquette.
- I feared other women judging me; my body, my skin, my hair, or anything else about me that someone could criticize.
- I didn’t know where to start or what to do, so I feared people would judge me for looking clueless or dumb.
- I feared looking too skinny in the gym, and judgment from being at the start line.
- I feared that my physique would change in a way that made me look masculine.
Due to my immense fear and constant worry, I held myself back entirely from going. When I first started to think about seriously working out, I decided that the best thing to do was to isolate myself: change into athleticwear, turn my tv on, throw my yoga mat down, and watch youtube workout videos. There is nothing wrong with this at all, but it was wrong for me because the only reason I isolated myself was fear. I took interest in knowing what it was like to work out but I didn’t get the full benefit or effect because of the isolation I forced on myself. Eventually, and thankfully, I ended up surrounding myself with others who encouraged and supported me to get out of this fear and go to the gym. I was scared but I felt more comfortable knowing I had someone next to me every step of the way. So, I started going to the gym with my boyfriend and a few of my friends. I was incredibly nervous and took time out of my workouts to consistently look around to see who may be looking at me. I was constantly worried that people were judging me. But when I did look around, all I saw were people who were too focused on their own set to even bat an eye at me. I was confused. I had been so fearful of the gym that I convinced myself people were going to purposely publicly humiliate and judge me. I was so afraid to see people laugh but all I ended up seeing was a community full of people who want the same things in life; to become the best version of themselves and who hope the same for the people around them. After that I felt more at ease knowing that the majority of lifters are not paying attention to what you’re doing, and if they are looking at you they are either admiring you, hoping to talk to you, or thinking to themselves. Once I realized that my over-analysis and worries about the gym were unrealistic, I wanted to go back. I started to feel more confident with going, and not only did I start to feel more confident in my presence there but I started to enjoy the workouts as well. Granted, at this point I still didn’t know what I was doing, so I started to watch youtube videos either before I went or while I was there. In understanding that no one is paying attention to me, I realized that it shouldn’t have even mattered in the first place. I just shouldn’t care what people think.
With regard to fearing judgment, I had the realization that the majority of people in the gym started out where I was. Everyone there started at one point and place too, which emphasizes the importance of not caring what they think of you. They know what it’s like to feel nervous in the gym, worry about feeling judged, not understand how to do a workout correctly, not have proper gym etiquette, and not feel strong enough to be there. They understood my fears because they had the same ones at one point too. I thought the gym was a world full of humans who were constantly comparing themselves to others, competing with others, or making judgments about others. Yet I hadn’t realized the gym is filled with the most kind-hearted people. Majority of the people there are incredibly welcoming, nice, and caring; and most are like-minded people so don’t feel like you don’t belong or fit in. Everyone is genuinely working on themselves and genuinely wants the best for others around them. And okay, yes, you may OCCASIONALLY have or see those people that think they’re significantly better than everyone else in an arrogant way, and because of that, they may be a jerk. But don’t even pay attention to those people. They’re irrelevant and not worth your time or energy to think about, and if that person or anyone judges you it’s a ‘them’ problem, not a ‘you’ problem. Regardless, don’t be worried about going to the gym because NO ONE is looking at you or judging you. Don’t allow your fears to hold you back from becoming the best version of yourself, and possibly meeting your best friends. If I can literally hold my phone and watch a youtube video in front of the gym mirror surrounded by people on how to do a simple bicep curl, you can do it too. I promise you that no one is going to be like, “What the heck is that girl doing over there? She looks like an idiot.” If anything, people are going to applaud you for having the confidence to watch the video in the first place, and are going to be proud of you for looking up how to do the workout properly rather than winging it. It shows that you want to work hard and shows you are dedicated. It may even inspire others around you to overcome their fear of the gym.
After being in the gym for so long now I have come to the conclusion that being a strong woman is badass, especially for all those who have doubted you in the past or when you have never felt strong before. Being a woman who can lift, regardless of the weight you’re lifting, and in a male-dominated area is the most badass thing you could ever do. Lifting has really made me feel like a girlboss, and I am so here for it. The beautiful thing about being a woman is that you get to decide for yourself what you value and see as feminine. So don’t think that lifting weights will take that away from you. Being a strong badass B is not masculine, and is actually the most powerful thing you could do. Looking like you could just hold your own is the ultimate ‘IT GIRL’ move, in my opinion. The gym has become my safe zone and holds more benefits to me than disadvantages. It creates healthy habits; for instance whenever I was upset, angry, sad, or simply just in a bad mood, I would relieve those feelings by doing something unhealthy for myself, like vaping. But now whenever I am upset, angry, etc. I go for a run or go lift. This has really helped me and changed my perspective on things, and allowed me to understand that there is a difference between healthy and unhealthy habits. It has reminded me that there are places like the gym that can improve my mental health in a healthy way, rather than vaping and damaging not only my lungs but my mindset. For me the gym half improved my mental health by the release of endorphins, but also skewing my mindset and my perspective on life. You can correlate what you learn in the gym to what you learn in real life. You learn how important diet is, you learn to overcome difficulties, you learn strength internally and externally, and you learn how important self-care is. You learn that you really can accomplish anything you put your mind to and that you can overcome any difficulties you are having by working hard. You learn so many different kinds of things that allow you to become better, and meet like-minded people who strive for success. The gym allows you to accomplish something every day, and work toward your physique. It embraces you to take chances, especially if you want to hit a new PR (personal record). The gym has allowed me to transform my mindset as a woman from “the thinner you are, the more beautiful you are” to “the stronger you are, physically and mentally, the more beautiful you become”. It has become so important to me, and I am forever grateful to have been encouraged and supported to go.