Long distance relationships seem to contradict the very nature of relationships themselves, erecting the barriers of space and time between the two people who are supposed to be in love. LDR’s make convenience impossible in the sense that there is no chance of coincidently running into each other, casually hanging out in the midst of a busy day, walking a short distance to meet up, and oftentimes no driving distance to make it easy to see one another either. Because of these factors, LDRs are completely antithetical with typical college relationships, and college culture in general. Being in a long distance relationship sets you apart from your peers, and adds a level of social confusion, uncertainty, and complication to almost everything that “college” is and “should be”. This is not to say that it is impossible to be in one and simultaneously have the time of your life at your university, but the added tensions contribute to the fact that to be in a LDR in college is to live a paradox. How can these two things be compatible, and how does one mitigate the gray areas while having your heart in two places at once?
The weekends are the hardest time for someone in a relationship to feel at ease in an LDR. While both people in the relationship (hopefully) know and recognize that this time apart is an opportunity to each grow in their individuality, make and strengthen friendships, work on themselves, their goals, and futures, those positive aspects not make being apart any less scary. Specifically in situations where alcohol is involved, where they find themselves surrounded by people who want to, and try to flirt, it becomes harder to figure out what their boundaries should be; how they should be acting. There is no handbook for the more subtle situations either, and it is easy to feel like one is doing something wrong, even if they aren’t. LDRs are all about trust, honesty, and accountability, three principles that are always challenging, but especially difficult to comprehend in the context of the overwhelming change and freedom that college presents.
What keeps me going in my long distance relationship? The Golden Three:
- Time spent together is more meaningful; every second counts. Experiences become special, dates are fancier, and love and emotions run higher.
- To know that if the two of you can survive a LDR, you can get through anything; no obstacle is as difficult as being apart for months
- You grow apart so that you can grow together; becoming a better version of yourself only benefits your partner and in turn, your relationship