My Experience With Birth Control: The Good The Bad The Ugly

*This is in no way medical advice, this is just my personal experience with birth control and it may not be the same for everyone. 

Preface: I was taking oral contraceptives as a continuous pill to completely stop my periods. The reason for this is I was diagnosed with Endometriosis also at the age of thirteen. There is no cure, and this was my only form of pain management available. Birth control is the only way I could get through those couple of years without being in constant, debilitating pain. 

I was just barely thirteen when I started taking oral birth control, I had only had my period for two years at the time, and it has now been six years since stopping it. It was only for a small part of my life but I remember the pain of it with incredible clarity, which is why I dealt with my birth control for so long. I took it continuously so I could stop getting my period, and hopefully stop the worst of the pain, as well as the growth of my endometriosis after my first surgery at thirteen. 

THE GOOD

Stopping my period

 As I previously stated, I started my period young (just barely 11 years old) and it was incredibly painful. For multiple nights a month I would not be able to sleep due to the pain from my cramps. I was prescribed a lower grade pain medication, but it would make almost no difference to me. I spent the nights curled up on my bed with a heating pad burning my skin, then crawled out of bed and went to school in the morning. I went to the school nurse almost everyday during my period either for some sort of pain medication, or for an extra pad because I would bleed through pads like nothing else. Long story short, it was awful. Whenever I brought it up to a doctor they would tell me it is normal to have a heavy flow and have bad cramps but ladies THIS IS NOT NORMAL. Stopping my period was the best thing I could have done, because while I still had horrible pain from my endometriosis, the week-long spike which came with my period was spread out throughout the month. 

Also as I said above, taking birth control was my only form of pain management. There are no real medications available for endometriosis, and taking pain killers everyday is not a real solution. Additionally, surgery is the only actual way to treat it, but it still may not fully get rid of the endometriosis, or fully get rid of the pain. It is also not a cure, nor is there any actual cure, so having the surgery to remove most of the tissue, then taking continuous birth control is what allowed me to live and function more normally. 

THE BAD

Pain was not completely gone

After the surgery I continued taking birth control to still limit the pain and prevent the endo from growing back. Even though I had the surgery, my periods were still too painful, so I continued to take birth control continuously. Yet, I would still have many days when I could not function from the pain, and I felt as though I was getting cramps from a non-existent period and I could not do anything about it. 

As the years went on, I went through physical therapy, and continued strengthening my body, and the pain started to very slowly diminish. So while the pill did help specifically eliminate my painful periods, the pain was still there. 

Random Spotting 

Even though I wasn’t supposed to be bleeding, I would randomly spot if I was stressed, took my medication late, not eating right, etc. While yes, it was better than having a full on period, it was completely unpredictable. I would be going about my day and all of a sudden I would be bleeding through. It wasn’t feasible for me to wear a tampon, pad, or linner every day when it didn’t happen all the time, so I would just have to take a gamble. 

Having to be strict with my medication 

I would need to take my medication at the same exact time every day, for me it was 9 pm. If I was more then about 15 minutes off, then I would spot, and if I missed a dose, I would fully bleed. I took my medication everywhere because of this. Everytime I went out to dinner, visited my friends, or was unsure of how long I would be out I would take my birth control with me. If I happened to forget it, then I was in a difficult position and would have to either leave early, or deal with the consequences of taking it late. 

The Ugly

Switching medications multiple times

For the first two and a half years after my initial surgery I switched my oral contraceptive 4 times, eventually going back to the second one I tried. I found that if I took a pill with estrogen in it, I would get bad headaches, so I switched to progesterone only. Then the next pill was more sensitive timing wise, and I would spot much more often on it, so I tried a new one again. Then this one caused horrible breakouts all over my face. I went back to the more time sensitive one, because the side effects were the most manageable. 

I could deal with having to take my pill at the same exact time everyday, and spotting randomly. What I could not so easily deal with was breakouts all over my face which could not be improved from any topical treatments. I could not deal with the horrible headaches which some pills produced. I could not deal with the cramps which also came with the estrogen pills. So random bleeding it was. 

Feeling numb

The worst part of all of this for me, and what finally made me get off of my oral contraceptive, was how numb it made me feel. This was not something which came suddenly, or even early on in my process. To be completely honest, I didn’t even realize it was the birth control that was affecting me until probably winter of this past year. Mental health has been a struggle for me for the past 5 years, and while I was getting much better, I still felt numb no matter what I was doing. Yes, I did have my ups and downs, but they felt like a stray from what I was typically feeling. Things which may have normally made me excited, or even just content caused no feeling to occur. Then other things which may have upset me, such as getting rejected by a guy or from a college, or hearing people talk about me, also sparked no feelings. I felt numb to the good and the bad in my life.

As I stated earlier, I was on birth control for a large portion of my life. I know I have changed significantly both physically and mentally in 6 years, so it makes sense that my hormone medication affected me differently in different stages of my life. Yet it happened so gradually that I didn’t really notice until later on. The feeling of numbness was horrible, it was weird not to feel anything and just feel like I am floating through life. 

As I also stated earlier, it wasn’t until this past winter that I really talked to my new GYN and found out that it may be the birth control affecting me. I was nervous coming off an oral contraceptive after being in it for 6 years would affect my pain level and periods with my endometriosis, but it was honestly the best decision I could have made.

June 1st of this year I got an IUD and stopped taking my oral birth control. The IUD has a similar effect on managing my endo with also keeping the hormones more centralized and not having added hormones coursing throughout my body. Shortly after coming off I was much more in touch with my emotions. I actually cried when I saw my favorite artist in concert over the summer when he played my favorite sad song, which never would have happened if I was still on the pill. I used to go months without crying or feeling that strongly about anything, and while I hate getting emotional still, actually being able to feel things has made me feel so much happier and content. 

My experience with oral contraceptives was not the best. I hated that I had to take something with so many horrible side effects just to manage another problem. I was tired. Tired of trying out many different pills. Tired of having a bad treatment to an even worse condition. And tired of feeling numb. Switching to an IUD was amazing for me, and while I do not recommend getting it while you are fully awake, it has been a blessing for me. I understand taking a pill is easier, and for many people, it may help with their different conditions, yet if someone is given a choice between an oral contraceptive and another form, I recommend looking into the other form. It may be worth it both for your physical and mental health. 

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