A triggering memory. A sentimental longing for the past. “Good old days”. Desire to return to a different time or place. Reminiscent memories continuously filling your mind. These moments belong to “you” – nothing can take that away. Except, you’re not the same “you” in that exact moment anymore. This is known as nostalgia.
Lately, I’ve been finding it difficult to actually enjoy and embrace the current moments of my freshman year in college. My mind has been consumed with how fast everything has happened. I know it’s cliche to say, but it feels like just yesterday that I was driving my Honda Accord each morning to high school. I reminisce about pulling into the crowded senior parking lot, racing out of school during senior privilege, attending tennis practice, the prom, and ultimately receiving my diploma. Each and every moment is so fleeting and temporary, which impacts me as the end of the first semester of freshman year at Holy Cross is on the horizon. I am reminded by friends and family members to bask in the glory of the present time as someday I will yearn for the past.Â
I am living in a time that I know for a fact I will one day reflect upon. Despite the moments that may not seem so appealing, like walking up the endless stairs from Kimball attempting to make it back to my dorm as quickly as possible in 32-degree weather, staying in Dinand Library until midnight to cram for an exam, or getting ready in a communal bathroom each day, these next 4 years will fly by. I must welcome the idea of wasting money at cafĂ©s for overpriced lattes as a reason to connect with friends and avoid schoolwork, or going to Ciampi Wellness Center to de-stress and enjoy a massage, or participating in group study sessions, which always include online shopping adventures. I must embrace the fact that some of my best friends’ doors are only five steps away from my own and that we are continuously making college memories. These next 4 years will be transitional- physically, mentally, and spiritually.Â
When my yearning for the past creeps up upon me, I curb it by looking at old pictures and videos as well as listening to music that reminds me to take nothing for granted. “Slipping Through My Fingers” by ABBA, “Where’d All The Time Go?” by Dr. Dog, “Slow It Down” by the Lumineers, “You’re Gonna Go Far” by Noah Kahan, “Friendship” by Chris Stapleton and “28” by Zach Bryan are some of my favorites tunes amidst a nostalgic frenzy. During this period I try to take the opportunity to make new memories. I make it a point to say “yes” as much as possible when these moments arrive. Going out to a new restaurant even though it might be out of my budget. A night out with friends even though there’s work to be done. A late-night adventure despite an early morning class. I’ve realized that my goal is not to not feel nostalgic but rather to exhaust the feeling. Overindulge. Be adventurous. Step out of my comfort zone. I remind myself to be extra grateful for these little moments that fill my search for joy, as I look forward to future experiences. I try to not dwell on the past, or wish I had appreciated it more – it’s gone. There is sorrow as I watch the memories slip away, out of my control, but with that comes an overwhelming feeling of tranquility and appreciation to have had such memorable encounters. I have moments worth treasuring, and I will keep creating more.