We already know that sex and anything relating to it can be an uncomfortable topic, especially for women due to fear of judgment by others. But it is extremely important women are just as open about sexual health as men are. Sex is more mental for women than it is for men and their mental and emotional state can have a major impact on our sexual experiences.
Women’s sexual health is not talked about enough and there are many reasons why for that. There is a very clear double standard between men and women when it comes to being sexually active. Men are applauded for being experienced and having multiple partners while women are slut-shamed for the same thing. When a man loses his virginity at a young age, it is quite literally a celebration and a step into manhood while again, women are judged for being too fast.
We see that upbringing or traditional mindsets can also hinder discussions about sexual activity. When boys receive “the talk”, they are told what they should do as males when engaging in sexual intercourse whether that may be establishing dominance or otherwise. A girl, however, is often told just to simply not have sex until marriage or else they will risk pregnancy and therefore be disowned basically. Practicing safe sex is not necessarily a part of the conversation and so naturally neither is how to decrease chances of infection as well as avoiding pregnancy and most importantly, making sure they realize that only they are in control of their own body and should not participate in anything that they are not 100% comfortable with.
Questions are oftentimes not encouraged because the conversation goes from genuine curiosity to the disappointing “well you aren’t having sex so why do you need to know?” by our parents, mentors, or those that we look up to.
Sex is also different for women because obviously we have different sexual organs than men that can be impacted by the experience. Former Surgeon and current GP and aesthetic doctor, Dr. Simi Adedeji, explains that a prior traumatic sexual experience can impact future occurrences and that depression, stress, anxiety, and even overthinking are all things that can make sex uncomfortable for women which is something a lot of people do not realize because we do not talk about it! It is important that we know our own bodies so that we may freely express ourselves however we choose.
Click the link to Dr. Adedeji’s youtube channel on skin and women’s health.
Whether it is casual sex, an intimate romance, or no sex at all, understanding how your body works in every aspect is something that should be encouraged and not embarrassing.