The “talking stage” has made dating very difficult. Due to online dating and social media, people are not finding romantic interests in person as often as they used to before. This has led younger generations to create a process distinct from dating to get to know a potential partner better, hence the talking stage. During the talking stage, two people who are romantically interested in each other spend time getting to know each other to see if they will be compatible in a relationship. However, most people abuse the talking stage by having no real intentions of being in a relationship which is why I believe the talking stage does not exist.
The talking stage gives people an excuse to do relationship things without the commitment of an actual relationship. You can talk to a person every day and spend time with them but when you ask them about progressing in a relationship the response is “we’re just talking”. By this time, you are already emotionally invested in this person as if you are in a relationship but you’re not. This usually leads to situationships. Situationships are undefined or uncommitted romantic relationships. The whole process is confusing, draining and should be avoided at all costs.
I have had my fair share of situationships because of the talking stage and I am completely done with them. I am no longer wasting my time in unfulfilling relationships and you shouldn’t either. Throughout my experience, I have learned a lot about myself and what I want out of a relationship. Below I shared some helpful advice on how to avoid situationships.
Become Friends First: The foundation of any relationship is friendship. A person that really likes you is willing to slow things down and be your friend first. Your romantic partner should be your best friend and you do not want to rush the process of building that special connection. When the time is right, a romantic relationship will happen naturally.
Set Boundaries: Let your intentions be known and clear. Be honest about what you want out of this relationship and what you won’t tolerate. The person you are involved with should respect your boundaries and your space at all times.
Do Not Ignore the Red Flags: If you see behavior or traits in a person that are really alarming for you, then it is time to reevaluate this relationship. Sometimes we think we can change people for the better, but we simply cannot. Let people be who they are and not what you imagine them to be. If that does not align with what you want then it is time to leave.
Do Not Forgive Too Quickly: I am not saying people are not deserving of second chances; however, do not forgive people too quickly after they do you wrong. Just saying sorry doesn’t cut it. An apology without follow-up action to prove the apology’s serenity is manipulation. If you find yourself bringing up the same issue repeatedly to a person without resolution then you have to cut them off.
Love Yourself: The most important thing is to love yourself before you get involved with any romantic partner. In order to have the willpower to leave toxic relationships that serve no purpose in your life, you have to love yourself and know what you deserve.