Ok, Ladies. It’s time for a little Girl Talk! Today’s topic: Relationships; to be specific, healthy relationships. We’ve all heard the spiel, and if you haven’t, let me be the first to tell you: no one should ever live with physical abuse and if you are living with physical abuse, please seek help from a close friend and/or call the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-621-HOPE (4673). However, physical abuse in a romantic relationship isn’t the only type of unhealthy relationship out there. There are other types of abuse that aren’t physical such as always being belittled or insulted–this is verbal or emotional abuse. If he (or she) is always playing games with your mind and/or emotions I suggest that you end the relationship and if you are afraid of ending the relationship I suggest you seek help and/or call the number listed above.
Most people, however, don’t realize that not all unhealthy relationships are relationships in which one person or the other is being abused. In fact, some relationships that are commonly described as good and loving could in fact be mildly unhealthy. Here are some common things that aren’t healthy in your relationship:
· If you spend every waking moment with your significant other and neither one of you have time for outside friendships. Remember that time when you had friends outside of your relationship? You don’t? That’s a problem. It’s always good for both parties in the relationship to have outside friends so that you have people to have girl time with and to vent to when you are annoyed with your boo.
· If you don’t have time alone, your relationship is unhealthy. It’s all good and well to spend time with your partner, but keep in mind that absence does indeed make the heart grow fonder. And think of it this way, now you’ll have more things to talk about when you see each other again.
· If you spend so much time with this person (or, for you ladies out there with long distance relationships, talking to this person) that your grades and/or work performance drops. I understand that you might miss each other but don’t forget that you have to come first. So if you have to end that phone call or send your significant other home before 3 A.M. so you can be up for that 8 A.M. class, so be it.
Keep in mind that friendships can take a turn for the worst, as well; the word relationship doesn’t always have to have a romantic connotation. If your friends are always talking down to you, hitting you (though they say they’re just playing, if it hurts and they do it repeatedly, that’s unhealthy), or only talk to you when they personally need something, your relationship is unhealthy.
In any unhealthy relationship, I suggest that you take these steps:
· Take some time. Maybe you just need to step back and think about things.
· Talk it out. Most things can be solved with a little bit of communication.
· If the relationship can’t be fixed after some communication, walk away and remember to have open communication the next time you walk into a relationship.