Let me start by saying: I think tattoos are cool. They are a fun way to express yourself in a colorful, creative way, and if you find the right artist they can come out as truly amazing masterpieces. Tattoo artists are some of the most impressive people out there, because they create art on non-flat, moving surfaces, one dot at at time, on canvases that are in pain. But, all that said, here are the reasons why I probably won’t ever get one.
First of all, and this one’s a biggy: I can quite clearly think back to my high school days where I was dreaming of turning 18 so that I could get my high school bf and my anniversary TATTOOED ON MY BODY. And also, like, a sports team or a type of car – neither of which make for very meaningful tattoos. For those of you, like me, who can see the err of your 18-year-old ways, you can see how this would have been A HORRIBLE IDEA. So, I live with a sense of relief that I never went through with it, but it also causes me to think: what if I got a tattoo now, and in 5 years felt the same way about it as I do about the anniversary thing now? I really can’t think of something that I would be fully content with being on my body for the entire rest of my life. I am a different person than I was when I was 16, and I’m a different person than I’ll probably be when I’m 30. Who knows what that person will want??
Secondly, I’m freakin’ scared. A little insight into my life – I have a near paralyzing fear of needles, both in the form of getting shots or having my blood drawn. I have no idea how the fear developed, but it’s there and it’s real. HOWEVER, I also have 17 piercings – so for some reason, the needle doesn’t bother me when it’s going all the way through me, rather than inside of me. That said, I have no idea where a tattoo needle would fall on that spectrum, and I’m not too keen on finding out.Â
Also, there’s some societal expectations standing in my way. Luckily, I am entering into the highly creative and generally rather accepting industry of advertising, where people have ripped jeans and pink hair and are not typically professionally judged for it. However, I have also experienced pre-judgement from potential employers for my hair color or body jewelry choices, and it sort of sucks to have someone doubt your professional capabilities for the way you choose to express yourself. The world is changing and slowly those types of judgments are disappearing, but I don’t want to risk experiencing that unless I could actually think of a tattoo that would be worth it for me. And if I ever do think of something, then by all means I will go for it.
Lastly, I’m passionate about strange things – like grammar. Most of my tattoo ideas have been quotes from books, punctuation marks, or made-up words. For example, I have a loooooot of strong feelings about the proper use of a semicolon – but, that tattoo has already been co-opted by those affected by suicide, self-harm, addiction, and mental illness. I am fully supportive of those people, and would not want to misrepresent the meaning of the tattoo just because I’m a weirdo who cares about structuring sentences properly. My other “almost” tattoo was the word “Pietrisycamollaviadelrechiotemexity,” a made up word from A Series of Unfortunate Events meaning “the state of not having the faintest idea what is going on.” Which, you know, is awesome – but maybe it’s just a cool word I love and not something I need on my body forever.
So, if you have a bunch of tattoos, I think that’s awesome, or if you have none and will probably never get one, I think that’s cool too. Do you, boo!