I’ve always loved writing, and it’s been a lifelong dream of mine to have a book published one day. I started writing a book at the end of 2020, and it’s gone through several drafts since then, but this year, I decided to go through a major editing process and complete what will hopefully be the final draft.
It was one of the most liberating things I’ve ever done, but also one of the scariest. I found myself sitting at my laptop in tears some nights because of the level of vulnerability I experienced in stringing some words together on a page. At the same time, the pure elation I felt when I typed those final words is almost indescribable.
The whole process taught me a lot as well. Firstly, it taught me that it’s worth it to spend time on your dreams. It’s so easy to get lost in the day-to-day grind; I myself am a self-professed “workaholic” and spend sunup to sundown doing schoolwork. It can be crazy trying to take care of myself and get all of my responsibilities done each week that when I actually have the time to write, I don’t have the energy to carry me through. However, having taken the time out to do something I enjoy and have always wanted to do suddenly makes all of those late nights and stressful days worth it.
I also think that there’s a level of satisfaction that comes with accomplishment, no matter how big or small. So I believe that I proved to myself that I am a hard worker and can stay dedicated to a task. Writing a book isn’t something that happens overnight. It actually took me several months to write a draft, and it took years from when the idea first came to me for me to start putting ideas down. The good things take time, and I now have the confidence in myself to get it done.
I also learned that self-doubt is the biggest enemy. No one is actually telling me that I’m not good enough or I shouldn’t be trying to reach a goal… Except for my own voice in the back of my head, that is. As soon as doubt started to creep in, I found myself taking more time away from writing and prioritizing it less.
Finally, perfection is practically impossible. Which is ironic since I classify myself as a perfectionist. But in reality, everyone’s perceptions of perfection are different. Even with the books I read, a story I love may be a story someone else hates. Every time I read my own book, I am guaranteed to find at least one tiny detail I want to change. But knowing when to stop and accept the impossibility of perfection is super important and something I found myself working on along with the novel itself.
Overall, writing a book was scary. But it was also one of the best things I’ve ever done. It’s continued to teach me new lessons about myself, and I think that’s been the most rewarding part of the entire process. The fact that I made one step towards achieving the dream I’ve had since I was a little girl shows me that I’m worth the confidence and effort.