Internships are always so exciting to think about. Thinking of all the possible fun places you could work and make an impact. Thinking about what all you are going to learn on your way to becoming the ultimate boss woman. As a Junior, this is the prime time for me to have a summer internship. It’s prior to my last year of college, before I enter into the real world with a big girl job. I built up in my head where I could end up for the summer and ultimately thinking getting internships would be easy — boy was I wrong.
I started applying for internships towards the end of 2020 coming into 2021. I was really excited and ready to start the process, but it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. It is all very tedious and repetitive. Writing cover letters, tweaking my resume, compiling a portfolio of all my work, etc. I knew this is what applications were going to be like, however I didn’t expect the feelings that came with it.
I have never been the best at school. I was not a bad student, I was very average. I was the kid that was in reading club, had to go to math tutoring and never tested well. All very normal stuff that I know I am not the only one that struggled with those things. However, compared to some of my friends and people around me, they seemed to have a pretty easy time. Ever since a young age, I planted a very small seed in my brain saying that I am not equipped like most people and I saw that seed starting to grow in my brain when I started working on applications for internships. That seed quickly became fear. Fear that I wouldn’t be a good intern. Fear that there will always be someone better than me for the position. Fear that no one would want me to work for them. Fear of ultimately failure.
I started to put off working on applications and avoid thinking about my summer internship plans. I was stuck in this funk. In the midst of this funk I got an interview. I felt a small weight lifted from my shoulders and saw a small glimmer of hope, if you will. Someone was interested in me and all my fears really did go away. The interview went well however I did not get it, and that is ok! I have learned so much from going through this process and the number one thing is to believe in yourself. Yes, you might think you are very unqualified but, in some way or another, everyone is.