With my career in social work slowly budding, I find myself compelled to make a plan. I want a cohesive, step-by-step scheme that will turn me into the optimal healer. I have been on the hunt for concrete skills, concepts and secrets that others have adopted from their experience. I want to feel like I know what I’m doing.
Of course, nothing good comes without risk. Accordingly, risk never guarantees that you’ll have control over your situation. Part of that control is the compulsion to gather allusions, hints and tidbits, like a detective collecting clues. When you take a risk, you simultaneously agree to forfeit your knowing of what’s to come. In the realm of my career, I am inherently fearful of the unknown. Graduate school has been an immense financial, social and personal risk- how do I know, at the end of it all, that I’ll be ready?
How do I know I’ll be a good social worker?
The fear of not succeeding impacts everyone. It would be selfish to think otherwise. As a way of dealing with this fear, I have started to explore every avenue of self-development that I possibly can. I’ve resided in the fact that being better for others cannot come without self-betterment. After much exploration, I’ve found a tool that is free, reliable and available for use at any time:
Journaling.
It has always been described as a flowery, optional way of walking oneself through hardship. It seemed reserved for introspective loners on a New Age self-love binge. I was always told that journaling is used for processing trauma, not simply writing about work life. Au contraire- writing about my education has been far more helpful than reading any amount of textbook gibberish.
Social work is an inherently confusing field. We wear every hat known to humankind: therapist, disciplinarian, diagnostician, mediator, observer, entrepreneur and even policy advocate. We are your best friend who can’t logistically be your friend. We are the glue that holds everyone together, and we often expect nothing in return. Because we wear so many stressful and important hats, it can become confusing to determine where we fit in. Though we can supplement anyone, anywhere (and are expected to do so anytime), it can feel like we have no field of our own. It can be easy to question our job’s nature. In these moments, I think it’s extremely helpful to look inward for our own answers to that question. Working in social services means something different for everyone, and it is crucial that we come to understand our own meaning. When we feel as though our work is valid, we become more efficient, compassionate and confident.
Facilitating a self-contained dialogue with oneself can seem silly at first. One might initially find it pointless to bounce ideas off a piece of paper. However, I think there is great solace in reflecting on an empty slate. No one is going to read what’s written; everything can be laid out on the table without regard. The deepest self-criticisms and the most joyous exclamations of success, can all be documented without fear of embarrassment. I find it comforting that my progress is documented and stored away for my own personal safety. Personally, it creates a safer learning environment.
One of the most beautiful things about self-reflection is the creative practice it provides. When you write your strengths, confusions and pitfalls onto paper, you are creating a holistic inventory of experience. Re-reading (and thus reliving) these experiences is beyond powerful in educating later endeavors. There is a moment of pride that comes when you look back and fully realize the progress you’ve made. While you’ve learned things along the way, the progress becomes all your own. There is inherent power in the documentation of progress. It is fulfilling to tell yourself a linear narrative at the end when you’ve finally achieved what you set out to do.
All in all, I don’t believe there can be true service work without reflection. For those of you entering similar fields, I encourage you to go beyond the required reflections assigned to you in class. Designate a space where you can let your pride, shame, giddy-ness and curiosity roam unbothered. There is a beauty that comes from being cognizant and aware of your progress, one which nobody can take away from you. When you become devoted to bettering your own practice, the world turns. The work you put in will always be rewarded. Tenfold.