In every college movie I’ve seen, there’s a shy girl with no friends who starts at a college. She blossoms within the first few weeks and meets lifelong friends and endures unforgettable experiences. And as a freshman in college, I can confirm that hardly anything like that is realistic. So, I thought of a few tips and reality checks that I wish someone could have told me about college before I started.
I wish someone would have told me that making friends would be hard. I consider myself pretty personable and friendly. However, making friends in college is HARD. With social media nowadays, everyone is on their phones. I noticed that when I started off in college, it was easier to stay in touch with friends I already had, and it was simply awkward to try and be friends with people. Like, how do I know if I actually want to be friends with this person? Now that I’m in second semester, I have made one great friend and there are a lot of people I’m friendly with/friends with. I think you just have to try and put yourself out there, even if it is awkward, until you find someone that you really click with. But I wish someone would have warned me that having to make friends for the first time in 10 years isn’t an easy task.
I wish someone would have told me that my lifestyle would be hard. One of the hardest parts of college for me is having to do simple and time-consuming tasks on my own. From laundry, to running errands, to making meals for myself, to cleaning/vacuuming my dorm, to simply living on my own; the littlest tasks can be so draining and difficult while in college. Not having everything at my disposure or my family to help me with these kinds of tasks have been something that I have struggled with. I would just say that it is helpful to break up these tasks and mix them in with schoolwork, so they don’t build up and overwhelm you.
I wish someone would have told me that I would feel extremely lonely at times. College isn’t a perfect movie. College can be really depressing. For me, I’m extremely close with my family. So, I have experienced countless moments when I’ve just felt so alone. It’s weird not having all of them around or anyone to talk to. And even if I would FaceTime them, sometimes it would even make me feel worse after because I would miss them even more. Being lonely or sad is unavoidable but sitting in my room doing nothing would make it worse. Missing your family is unavoidable as well, so to combat these ideas I discovered that keeping busy and especially leaving my room to go do something helped a ton.
I wish someone would have told me that I will eat alone a lot. Maybe this just applies to me, but I ALWAYS eat meals by myself. Don’t get me wrong, I have lunch with my roommate occasionally or dinner with a friend, but most of my meals are around the time I have class and everyone’s schedules are different. Sometimes I have a small window to eat lunch or I guess I just don’t think about asking someone to eat lunch with me. But for me personally, I eat meals by myself a lot. I’ve learned to be okay with this and I often work on something or watch an episode of TV so I don’t feel lonely while eating.
I wish someone would have told me that college is dirty. Okay, this one is kind of funny. But it’s so TRUE! College is covered with germs and diseases. There’s not a lot I can say about this one, but I would say to try and be aware of your surroundings and things you may be interacting with that might be extremely germy. Also, I guess I would suggest washing your hands a ton and to avoid sickness at all costs (I literally sound like a doctor right now lol). I got mono this year and I just want to help anyone else prevent themselves from getting it or any other nasty sickness like it.
I wish someone would have told me to not feel bad about going home. I was so worried about wanting to not be the girl who “went home every weekend” that I tried to stay at college as much as possible even if I was really missing my people. However, I’ve learned that if I’m really missing my people, I need to go home and see them! Some of my favorite people in the whole wide world are back at home and I’m not going to deprive myself of the happiness of seeing them just to avoid a label. Now, I wouldn’t advise you to go home every weekend because if you do, it will be more difficult to make friends and memories. But what I am trying to say is if you love and miss your people, go home and see them. Life is too short.
I wish someone would have told me that every moment isn’t going to be epic. There are a lot of moments where I get homesick, or lonely, or just lay in bed and do nothing. While college is fun and I’ve had a lot of great experiences, I’ve also had some boring or sad moments; and I’ve learned that that’s okay. College in the movies is an epic montage, but that isn’t how real life is. Real life is messy, sad, depressing, and lonely, but it is also happy, epic, and memorable. So, if anything, college is a mixture of the good and the bad. But I guess what I wanted to convey by writing this article is that college isn’t like the movies and that you’re going to experience bad moments. But, don’t let that stop you from making and enjoying the good moments either! You’ve got this!
– A new college student that knows how you’re feeling