In a world of coffee fanatics, maniacs and lunatics, it’s rare to come across an individual who doesn’t even enjoy a cup every now and then…let alone at all. I am that “not at all” person. It comes to many a surprise that a young Caucasian female like myself does not like coffee but we do exist contrary to popular belief and recent stereotypes. If you’re a coffee boycotter like me, I bet you’re happy to know you aren’t the only one.
However, if you’re a coffee lover, I bet you’re wondering how someone could disregard the taste of a ground up coffee bean in his or her lives.
Let’s clear things up:
1. Just because I do not like coffee does not mean that I am the spawn of Satan. I still like puppies, I still smile at children, and I still really like watching a Keurig make a drink out of those adorable mini K-cups that I don’t understand.
2. When I don’t accept your invitation to Dunkin Donuts happy hour it’s not because I don’t like you, it’s because I do not want to spend money on a sugary drink that won’t make me change my mind about the beverage.
Still, no mater the pecan/cinnamon/French vanilla/honey roasted/mocha/caramel flavors infused in the drink, I won’t like it. The root of coffee is coffee, not sugar. You can take the sugar out of the coffee, but you can’t take the coffee out of the coffee. If I wanted sugar I would eat a donut (which I like).
3. Sometimes I am jealous of your cool, artsy pictures of your cup of coffee. Sometimes I wish a Starbucks cup had my name humorously misspelled on it to share. Then, I remember that tea and hot chocolate exist which can fulfill those same aesthetically appealing principles.
4. The worth of a mug does not decline depending on the substance it holds inside. Cute mugs can be containers for any drink of any temperature, so when at Target debating for a mug, the answer is not “Don’t get it, you don’t drink coffee anyways,” it’s actually “Yes! Get it! Mug equality!”
5. I get my energy from other sources such as apples, Red Bull, etc. There are alternatives to coffee although I understand it is an addiction hard to stray from.
6. Starbucks jargon – I don’t understand it. Barista. Venti. That’s all I got. Please do not speak to me in this language, as I will not understand you or attempt to.
7. Lastly, on the addiction note, many of my friends are coffee addicts. I have seen what it has done to them. Abstaining from coffee does not become difficult when I see people on the near edge of death without a sip of it in the morning. I would much rather be tired and lacking coffee than severely tired and in need of it.
All in all, exploring coffee in our generation is insanely interesting. It is becoming a cultural norm for your favorite coffee place to be a part of your identity, and in parallel, so does not liking coffee at all. Despite the differences between those anti and pro coffee, at least we can agree that the saying should be changed to, “Don’t cry over spilled coffee” instead of milk. Many more people would cry over coffee.