It’s that time of year girls. Grab your money and start sprinting to the drug store or tell your man to grab his wallet. Christmas time has finally arrived and that only means one thing: you devouring your sweet, sweet Hershey’s kiss in the middle of watching Elf along side your plate of candy canes, hot coco and salted caramel candies! So now I ask, what is your favorite holiday candy and what does it say about you?
Candy Cane
Candy Canes are definitive of Christmas cheer! If your favorite holiday treat is the candy cane, then you’re the type of girl who’s down to tussle whenever. The second someone rubs you the wrong way, you bet that you’re going to whip out your candy cane, lick it until it’s pointier than the Eiffel Tower, and stab the b*t$h. With that being said, if you love the candy cane you understand that during the holidays you’re going to need your breath fresh and as minty as possible in case of the occasional mistletoe. Trust me girl, I feel you and I know you’re always looking for the occasional man to swipe right.
Hot Chocolate
It’s cold, snow is falling outside and you’re cuddled up in your softest blanket to watch the classic Christmas movies we all know and love. You bring a cup of hot coco to quench your thirst and sip on it as its sugary delightfulness cascades your mouth. If your favorite holiday go-to is that steaming hot chocolate you’re always ready to stay calm, relax and lounge around for eternity. I warn you not to stay lazy too long while you slowly slurp your hot coco. No one likes that guy and you’re not a little old woman who can’t take a decent sized gulp. That hot chocolate will turn cold really quick and you’ll start hating who you are.
Gum Drops
Yay, yay, goody goody gum drops! If your favorite treat is eating gum drops during the holidays you’re probably the most annoying individual on this planet. I’m not going to sugar coat this as much as your heavily sugar coated orange and yellow gum drops either. For some reason if I were to walk into a room and find a person with their legs crossed, chillin’ and eating a bag of colorful gum drops as if they were grapes I’d probably be weirded out and walk away. There’s something about that image that just doesn’t sit well.
Gingerbread House
Gingerbread Houses are the reason I believe there is still good in this world. If you love gingerbread houses that means you are doing something right with your life. To build a house completely out of bread and put it together through a glue-like substance such as icing, requires the epitome of thought, innovation and efficiency. Congratulations, you are probably one of the smartest people I know. I’m sure you hear it all the time from your imaginary friend Ben. Yeah, I know Ben. Ben thinks you need to get over your high horse and start building gingerbread mansions.
Chocolate Santas
If you love eating your annual chocolate-filled Kris Kringle, you are someone who values the true meaning of Christmas. Only those who have a true appreciation for the holiday will understand the tradition and glory behind eating a chocolate carved Santa Clause. From the first bite of his head, to the second bite of his beard and the third bite consumed by eating the rest of his body in one gulp, you have never made Santa more proud. That is why every year Santa has delivered you the best presents and put you on the nice list. That’s why Pebbles, your pet pony, was there Christmas morning when you were seven. Santa really did you a solid.
Fannie May Chocolates
You are the type of girl to get wined, dined and treated because you are fine. Listen to me clearly: milk this man for all he’s got because no one is every going to buy you Fannie May unless you’re a real dime, you put out or he’s the best guy in the world equivalent to an angel fallen from heaven. Unlike you, I’ll happily be scavenging the garbage behind Dunkin Donuts after hours for a shot at one of their bagel twists and a free honey glazed donut with the extra mystery sauce I’d rather not know about. But don’t worry, I’ll happily decline your Fannie May when asked if I would like any because I simply would much rather dumpster dive than succumb to the romanticism behind the infamous Fannie May.
Sugar Cookies
Cookies around the holidays are a given must. A Christmas without cookies would simply be just down right wrong like taking that last slice of pizza sitting on the counter or leaving someone at the bottom of the elevator as your frantically quicken to close the door. If you’re a cookie gal, then you’re the greatest at making conversation around the holidays. Cookies are so plentiful, it’s basically a given tool for making or bribing friendships. Not saying you need to bribe people for affection (okay maybe I am), but you certainly don’t mind the attention either. You might as well be just another plastic or better yet, Regina George.
There you have it ladies. Candy Canes or Hot Coco? Which one do you want to be and which one are you really? I hope for your sake, you’re not a gum drop gal.