As I have come into my own as a feminist, advocate, and social science professional, I have been naive. While I like to think that I wield a large amount of power and knowledge towards the issues that I am passionate about, I realize that I have had many moments where I don’t know what is best. Possibly my greatest misstep this year is underestimating the power of a man who talks a big game. If you talked to me between the moment that it was announced that Kamala Harris would be the democratic nominee for this presidential election, then you would know I had few doubts in my mind that she wouldn’t be successful. I mean, just by looking at her qualifications, I believed that she was a strong candidate. I don’t subscribe to the idolization of political figures, but for once in a long time, I had some hope. I felt some relief; however, that relief and hope blindsided me to the fact that the rest of the country was not seeing what I was seeing.Â
I continuously championed for those around me to vote, and vote based on facts, qualifications, and what the candidates were telling the public with their own platform. Kamala Harris’ platform represented an understanding of the middle class, non-traditional families (as she has a blended family of her own), and fighting for reproductive justice. Please do not misunderstand me, she is not a perfect candidate and I was not blindly attaching myself to every promise she was making; however, hearing her speak was good. Watching videos of her visiting small businesses in towns across America was good. Similarly, learning about Tim Walz was good. He had progressive views on a number of issues. It felt good to have some hope and to think about what the Harris-Walz team could change and the ways they could move this country forward. Meanwhile, Donald Trump was unable to answer a simple and important question about his health care plan. He stated, “I have concepts of a plan. I am not president right now.” Additionally, Trump frighteningly stated that “In four years, you don’t have to vote again. We’ll have it fixed so good that you won’t have to vote.” No matter what way you interpret these words, I thought that summed up the Trump-Vance team and their characteristics pretty well. They’re going to fix everything with the “concepts of a plan.” How arrogant and unprofessional. Once again, I thought everyone was seeing what I was seeing: something good and something, well, not good.Â
Yet, on the night of November 5th, I arrived back at my college apartment and turned on the news to watch the election. This was the first federal election I had the chance to vote in and the first election I really sat down and watched. The few weeks before the election, I became more conscientious about my perspective versus other people’s perspectives. As the night progressed, it became clear that the good that I was seeing and feeling was not represented throughout the nation. I could not believe it. I realized that I underestimated the love for capitalism and individualism in this country. I realized that being amongst social science and humanities majors that had similar ideas as me shielded me from the real opinions of the nation. I realized that this was not the goodness and relief that I had hoped for all those months back. A little after midnight, I realized that I could not just sit and torture myself by watching this anymore, so I went to sleep.Â
I woke up this morning and saw the news combined with a text from my mom: “How is this even possible?” That was my same thought the night before. Against my better judgment, I looked at social media and was met with posts from people, many of them women, that were filled with grief and shock. I can’t blame them. While the winning side may think of that reaction as melodramatic, I believe that was the goodness being sucked out of us. I think many of us underestimated the power of White, rich, arrogant men. I also saw a graphic related to the national exit polls. It showed that 52% of White women voters voted for the Republican nominee. To that, I say, we failed to show up for our fellow women who needed us. Again, I was naive to think that White women across the country could show some solidarity with our LGBTQIA+ allies and BIPOC allies. It’s a shame.
Despite all this, I know that there is still work to be done. I don’t know what the next four years will hold, but I know that this is not the end, and it should not be. I will not stop fighting and advocating for the issues I believe in related to women, reproductive rights for all, families, and marginalized communities. I need to sit with this news and be in the moment; however, I will not let my joy, love, and empathy be taken away from me. I will take care of myself and the community around me. I will find the good again.Â