Cracking the Guy Code
Sometimes it seems impossible to a read guy and figure out what he’s thinking. Luckily, I’ve got the inside scoop for you today. I interviewed three guys to see what they think about sex, love and relationships.
First Impressions
Whether we like it not, physical appearance is a large part of first impressions. How you carry yourself says a lot about you. If you have makeup caked on or have too much cleavage showing, you might be sending the wrong messages to guys. Many guys actually like when a girl sports a natural look and flaunts her best feature: her smile.
What the guys had to say:
Interviewee: Mason Mabrito, former student at SIU – Carbondale
HC: What is the first thing you notice about a girl when you meet her?
MM: I notice her smile and her eyes, nothing shows true happiness and beauty than those two features. A woman with a good smile and beautiful eyes is an instant heart breaker.
HC: If your first impression of a girl is negative on a first date, what are her chances of getting a second date?
MM: There’s actually a good chance. I know I’m not perfect on the first date. Hell, no one is. What I do know is that in order to fully understand who they are it’ll take more then one date.
HC: What is the ultimate deal breaker?
MM: My ultimate deal breaker would be a liar or a cheater. You need to be straightforward and open with me, or find someone else.
Hookups
Hooking up can be risky, not just physically, but emotionally as well. It’s common to become attached to the person that you’re in a physical relationship with. If you feel like you can handle it, go for it at your own risk. The most important thing to do is to be safe and responsible.
What a guy had to say:
Interviewee: Kyle Grba, student at Joliet Junior College
HC: Why do you think people in college look at it as an ideal social experience?
KG: It’s a stress-free way to have fun without being tied down in a relationship. You’re living, you’re young, and taking advantage of that.
HC: When you meet a girl that you want to hook up with, who is the one who initiates it?
KG: I would say either girl or guy, but in today’s culture it’s usually gonna be the guy. Girls are looked down upon for initiating such behavior. Overall, guys don’t care as much as girls. If a guy got denied it wouldn’t hurt his feelings as much as it would hurt a girls.
HC: Are hookups for you usually a one-time thing, or do you call the girl again?
KG: Depends on the girl and on the first hookup. If it was a good time, I’d call back, but if it was awkward I wouldn’t call back. There are too many other opportunities out there.
HC: Is it more attractive when a girl plays hard-to-get or when she goes after what she wants?
KG: Playing hard to get won’t last long, because it’s similar to playing games, and no one wants to do that. Someone who is bold makes it more intriguing.
Thinking Long Term
Not too long ago, I read Steve Harvey’s book, “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment”. In one of the chapters, he explains that a “sports fish” is a woman who has no standards, respect or guidelines for herself. A “keeper” never gives in easily and sets standards for herself and all her relationships. What do guys like more: the keeper or the sports fish?
What a guy had to say:
Interviewee: Malik Lowry, a student from Valparaiso University
HC: Do guys decide on a first date if a woman is long term or temporary?
ML: Most times, yes. Guys make that decision after the first time meeting. We put a girl in a category of either wife material or just another girl on the side. However, if they hang out more, then that opinion can change.
“Just friends”
After watching tons of romantic comedies, it may seem like it’s unlikely for men and women to stay just friends. Many think it’s impossible, simply because we’re sexual beings who can easily grow attracted to each other. Overall, the friendships between men and women depend highly on the individuals.
What a guy had to say:
Interviewee: Mason Mabrito, former student at SIU – Carbondale
HC: Do you think it’s possible for men and women to be just friends, and why?
MM: I do think it is possible, but it is a rough situation. There’s another level of intimacy people enter when they find out more about each other. The connection between friends is unbreakable, and when that’s shared with someone of the opposite sex, new doors open up. I think there has to be a sound understanding of what’s expected. There has to be an equal understanding of the limits to their relationship.
HC: If someone does end up getting “friend zoned,” how can a friendship move forward?
MM: The “friend zone” is the worst thing to happen to a opposite sex friendship. It usually results in one person feeling out of place and left out and the other person feeling awkward. I believe with some work, a friendship can move on, but it’s not very promising.